Second Chances and New Romances
by bemyxluckyxcharm
Summary: Emma's tough battle with anorexia tears apart her relationship with Peter just as she finds friendship in someone unexpected. Full Summary inside.
1. Reality Check

**Title;** Second Chances and New Romances  
**Author(s) ; **Bri and Bree  
**Ship or ships; **Emma Nelson and Jay Hogart (brief Peter Stone and Emma Nelson) (sub-ships Tracker Cameron and Ellie Nash, Manny Santos and Tyler Bishop (speak of Craig Manning and Ellie Nash and of Craig Manning and Manny Santos relationship and the ups and downs of their long distance arrangement.)  
**Rating and reasons;** PG-13 because we want to be safe.  
**Summary; **Emma Nelson is battling anorexia, she's fighting it feverishly and diligently seeming to be the only thing in her mind, temptation and negative thoughts about her body still throw her back into emotional turmoil. Slowly and surely she sees it is causing a tough emotional strain on Peter, their relationship with him quickly unravels, even if Peter would never admit it to her that he's stuck on her situation. Emma wants to keep their friendship intact, despite her troubles decides maturely to call it quits with him even though she desperately needs someone to help her though. Fortunately, she finds that comfort to find health again in someone very unexpected. This unexpected person knows her better than she thinks and thinks she is the jewel of the earth but this new person has some secrets of his own and a past with her to burn.  
Subplot; Ellie Nash thinks she can still score points with the guy of her dreams even if he's under lock and key even away at college from the school tramp Manny Santos. But one evening in her apartment she finds someone who is much like her and knows what it's like to be her and knows her more than she thinks. Manny meanwhile can't shake the fact that Craig is away in Vancouver far away and getting only letters, brief phone calls and small packages to send love to get by fortunately she discovers love in a guy who may not even be able to hear her call his name on an afternoon at the beach.  
**Disclaimer;** insert tears We do not own Degrassi. If we did, we'd own a carmelchocolatejelly Mike and Jay and Emma and Jay would be Degrassi's couple. . forever. Muhaha.  
**Authors Notes;** We have switching POV's throughout the story, including using third person but occasionally they'd be words from Emma's to Jay's to Manny's to Tyler and the list goes on and on. Please don't flame us, this is our first time working together to write a turned out story to the public although Bree and I had been writing for awhile freehand. Emma and Jay are the main relationship in this fan fiction.  
Some quick reminders; Ellie Nash in 'Queen of Hearts' moved back in with her mother who is away from the alcahol on the show but we are having Ellie still living in Sean and her old apartment alone without Bueller. This is set in the summer of season five which would mean Jay is still single, Emma and Peter would still be together cough for nowcough, as would Manny and Craig coughs again.

**Chapter One; Reality Check**

_Dear Diary, _

Not everyone is drop dead gorgeous, especially me plus not every guy wants a fat girlfriend. I should be more specific in my words I mean, no guy wants a fat girlfriend. Honestly I'm not surprised if Peter dumps me tomorrow when he takes me to The Dot, he needs to trust me and so do you, I'm not hiding food but I know he thinks I' am. I've been eating half-portions of every meal which is better than none, at least I'm consuming without purging it out. My mom is proud, I'm proud, Manny is proud, Snake's proud and Jack, well he's always proud of me.

At the same time, I may just be thinking the polar opposite and being pessimistic again. My therapist tells me every day not to think this way, to think happy and positive thoughts saying it'd be the only way I'd get better. Why must I be so pessimistic? It's not good for me, not good for people not good for anything, it just makes me look standoffish. Let's think of the positive what ifs to being optimistic, perhaps if I were optimistic I wouldn't be in the situation I'm in now, perhaps I'd be healthy and able to eat without thinking I'd get fat, perhaps I wouldn't of given myself so much stress that I nearly died while having a heart attack, perhaps I wasn't crabby and feeling menstrual when really I'm so deep in misery when all I can do is stand-by as my friendships everywhere are decaying, people look at me like I'm a leper and teachers, principals, (get this - gym class I'm medically excused) everyone always asking me "Emma, are you okay?", and lastly, perhaps my relationship with Peter which was once amazing, happy and blissful and completely undercover is now out in the open has now transformed into a chore and feels not even an once real anymore. Peter isn't the same, I can tell the way he walks on eggshells around me, how when we sit together he's silent, hollow and void. Maybe a relationship right now is not what I need. Now to end it before it gets to me.

Later,  
Em

_There's so much to read beyond the lines_, Dr. Diane tells her each time she goes through Emma Nelson's journal. Emma thought of this to herself as she slowly set her blue inked Bic pen down the metal spiral rings on the binding of her diary before taking the lock and securely locking the diary shut. She had finished her third week diary entry since she started therapy with Dr. Diane. She hoisted her pillow up and threw the diary under for safe keeping, placing her monkey on top. Dr. Diane works with girls Emma's age and up, so when she goes to the peer group she's with girls she can relate to by age. Even with Diane reading her thoughts Emma tries to pretend nobody is reading the diary. Within the pages, instead of the diets, and the many listings on each page of every piece of food she placed into her mouth Emma put in her feelings, her thoughts, her hopes and her fears in her own words and nobody else's. With the thoughts written the more Emma's therapist can look into her, and then possibly fix and ultimately erase her horrific feelings about her body. Upstairs amidst the sounds of the drip drip drips, the rumbles of the washer as her clothing cycles through and through, and the ambient echoes of the basement, Emma hears the faint sound of the front door opening and closing, Manny probably returning home from a meeting with her agent, Beatrice without a doubt Emma thought glad she had put her diary to rest before Manny returned. The last thing she'd want is her best friend to think she was a psycho. She knew it wasn't her parents, she previously knew Spike and Snake are out to dinner and Emma had put Jack to bed a little over an hour ago so that she could unwind and write. I wonder if she got the part, she continued plundering her mind. The footsteps led the path to the basement that the girls had shared for this past school year, before Emma and Manny had been just your average best friends duo but now Emma and Manny had morphed into two sisters that do everything together and know now everything about each other, Emma knows when Manny lies her brown eyes shift slightly as her dimples are easily noticed as she smiles and chuckles and attempts to weasel her way out of it, and Manny knows as well as Emma does when she's nervous about something because Emma lightly bites her lip. Perhaps they've known things such as that all their lives, but still, they have an unbreakable bond with each other, the both had been inseparable since pre-k, and as Manny entered the bedroom kicking off her slip on ballet flats Emma knew she was excited, happy and she had definitely gotten the part.

"Emma. . you'll never GUESS what happened!" Manny had a young sounding squeal as started to look as if she was about to burst. She was giggling fanning herself squiggling as she was standing in her ankle-cut socks in her new distressed denim skirt with her favorite red-tangerine halter.

Emma laughed at Manny's excitement as Emma was excited too for Manny, she had this urge to scream but she knew she'd wake Jack and it was murder to get him back to sleep once he was up and crying, "Well. . this could mean one of two things. . you got the part and. . you uh got the part!" and Emma hushed placing a finger over her Manny knowing Manny would have an outburst.

"Exactly, I'm going to be Rosalind in the film version of As You Like It. . I'm going to be performing Shakespeare, Em! This is big, this isn't me this character is a great character, a complete and utter opposite of me and she's one of the main characters, look!" Manny pulled her default script from her purse that she had absent mindedly left on her shoulder, "She has the end monologue, Em! " she plopped on her bed and kicked her feet up and down with a sigh. She looked as if she was going to die from shock and excitement mixed and morphed into one.

Emma gave her a look before exclaiming, "White flag please!" as she was getting much too close for comfort, and she's very loud when she's excited. Manny was clearly excited bouncing off the walls and now sitting on Emma's bed. She was happy for her sure, but this could be torture for her knowing she's going far and wide to record the film and she'll be here, in therapy waiting for it to come out to the cinema at the mall. Emma hates the thought of therapy each week, and she's only in week three, how about her feelings when she's in week 40 something? She's mainly focusing on health and wellness aspect and not uncovering her feelings. Emma's never had a problem baring her feelings, it's as if she's an expert at it she's always had campaigns, crusades and more. It didn't matter, she was happy for Manny anyway, this is Manny's time to shine, "Finally, I was getting sick of you reading, rehearsing requiring me to be your Celia all the time for your practicing."

"Hey Em, I'll need you for perfection of my lines still. So don't throw it away just yet. You make a good Celia, you're making my character come to life in a weird twisted way. You are like my Celia, except we have no real blood relation." Manny told Emma with a half joking expression and sing-song voice adding a friendly pillow toss, which went back and fourth for a few minutes. Manny would know anything that was going out with Emma now, no secrets not even one, Emma has been bouncing her relationship with Peter back and forth for about two months. She's trying to keep her focus on getting back on track and Peter isn't making it easier, he wants their relationship to be like every other relationship on television, dinners all the time and such. Manny knows his heart is in the right place as does Emma, but she simply thinks he's trying too hard, he also wants his mother to have dinner with Emma and Emma can't stand his mother. The human scapegoat, Manny occasionally has to lie and say Emma isn't awake, or not home or unable to come to the phone just so Emma wouldn't have to speak with him. Things with Peter should be great in the summer, school and drama free especially when they're rid of Manny drama considering they had made peace, things just weren't the same she thinks he lost all of his appeal to her. She still sure wants to keep friends, but right now she wants to keep a low profile and never leave the house except for when she goes to therapy with her doctor, Manny sometimes couldn't understand and it worries her but Spike assures her as does Dr. Diane that it's a phase a common phase that could worry most. Manny caught the fifth something throw at her a looked at Emma and gave her a light grimace expression, "So when are you going to drop the bomb on Peter?" She collapsed her chin on the warm pillow she had placed on her knee and kept looking at her. She wasn't sure if Emma was going to, but she's been dangling him for months, he's like one of the tricks under her sleeves when you tie a string and connect a piece of gum to a coin and glide it across the sidewalk on a sunny boring day on a not-so-busy street and Peter is that guy who'll believe any trick he'd absentmindedly pick up the coin but instead Emma would pull and yank at it as he'd try to recover it and find entertainment . . . maybe she wouldn't. Emma's character wouldn't exactly do that, she wouldn't find amusement in sorrow she really has no amusement nothing is amusing right now to her, she's like a robot to Manny. Manny's grimace represents how Peter would feel, would he be sad or unhappy about the breakup and perhaps he really did care for Emma, would he be shunned forever? How would he take it? Will Peter actually accept friendship with him, Manny thought Emma did say they were going to remain friends if he takes it well. Manny liked Peter civil with them, he didn't think he was that bad but Emma's health would continue going through a downward spiral with him. Without him Emma could really concentrate and beat this like she promised she would. Manny knows she's more than capable of doing anything she sets her mind to.

Emma looked away from Manny still hugging her gray-sock stuffed monkey she's had since God knows when, she then nodded, "I was going to do it tomorrow, I'm tired today. I did a lot of digging. . in-in my past today at therapy. You know. . the old days. . the days I really don't like to talk about. . "

"Dark stages? Like after the shooting. . that kinds of stuff? Wow. . this doctor is deep, is that sort of stuff. . if I'm thinking the same thing. . legal to share?"

"It's frank. . not deep deep. . but in general. . I didn't descriptively tell exactly each and ever split moment. I talked about how the school play I joined to get back and involved into things and . . that junk. I also talked about the shooting. She even asked be about. . you-know-who." She told her in a flat hollow expression, "I really haven't thought of him in so long."

"Sean?" she asked slowly and Emma nodded at her slow question. She really wanted to get off the topic that Emma really didn't want to be on. Emma really had a tough year the year before Manny always thought she should've watched her friend more attentively at the signs of her depression, she knew after reading books her mom has as her mom is a nurse was given signs that daggered her heart knowing Emma at that time was doing, simple stuff as not hanging out with friends, being disinterested in things she usually enjoyed like sleepovers, lying even little white ones that would be obvious, insomniac, overweighing herself with activities she knew she wasn't able to juggle but balanced them on her back none the less, "Well me and Darcy are going to Wasega for the weekend. Darcy's dad has a beach house to crash in, want to come? She has plenty of room. She told me she needs to get away from her evil stepbrother apparently. She does that a lot, and I've yet to meet the guy - who knew?"

"Remember. . project Peter tomorrow?" Emma reminded her, sort of annoyed with Manny quickly changing the subject and being forgetful that she had just told her that Emma was going to break up with Peter the next day. In response, Manny lightly laughed apologetically, and Emma added about Darcy's mysterious brother, "But, who is her brother? Is he like older or something? I've been to Darcy's tons and I never met him nor had I met his mother, I guess she works weird long hours."

"I guess. She's like highly embarrassed by him that's why she only invites me over and doesn't let me meet him. She says he's going to be a felon or something. She like thinks he's a leaper and he disrespects his mother who is her dads new wife. She's so nice and she looks so familiar it's uncanny. I swear I met the lady before. Anyhow, she really doesn't want her friends meeting him for some reason."

Emma shrugged at Manny, "Maybe it's a good reason, like he is like wanted for arrest and they want to keep him on the DL." toying with the black button 'eyes' on the gray sock monkey's face, "or maybe he's like a drunk. . and he causes arguments or he's fried. . my mom has an old friend Liz's stepbrother he's fried he had to relearn everything. . and he still hasn't got it yet. . he can't walk or anything I think he's deaf and I think he may've died as well a year or two ago and then you know my dad. . but he had complications too. Who knows. . it's probably good we didn't meet him."

"Yeah. . " Manny replied without much to say to it. A few moments later the basement phone-line rang and Manny slowly picked it up, she coughed to get just the right voice and in a faux Brit accent Manny spoke, "The basement of Manny Santos and Emma Nelson, Manny speaking who are you?"

"Uh. Peter. Is Emma around?" he sounded annoyed and as if bored with Manny's answering system, I guess he thought that they weren't around and he was a butt of a joke. Manny just likes to play games like that, she's outgoing, it's just how she is.

"Uh yeah. Sure." Manny removed the phone from her ear and put her hand over the receiver and in a whisper loud enough for Emma to hear hissed, "it's Peter. . for you." as she slowly glided the phone to her. Emma rolled her eyes but knew she had to talk to him.

Manny knew it was her cue to go upstairs and get lost, she felt weird and intruding if she were to listen to the conversation, perhaps if Emma wanted her to stay there she would, but it didn't appear that was what she wanted, Manny often wonders if Emma's unsure of herself in that sense, that she needs to be asked if she's sure she wants to do something, or have someone there at the time or place. Manny always is cautious enough to ask even if she didn't this time. She slowly lurked up the stairs catching a bit of the beginning of Emma talking to him. Emma waved even if Manny's back was to hers as she disappeared upwards.

"Hi Peter." Emma said slightly pleased to hear from him. She didn't want to really talk about rehab but, she knew he was going to ask right off the bat. He was being a second mom to him, her mom almost felt as if she couldn't go out with Snake that night because she worried that Emma would suddenly stop eating and it'd be completely unexplained, it'd also be out of the blue because right now as much as it doesn't sound it she's recovering. She just wishes Peter wouldn't remind her twenty-four a day and seven days a week or more descriptively anytime and every time he calls and ask about therapy, especially today of all days. She knows however, that her health is always on his mind and both Peter and Emma are wrapped in the case of the is more fond of her. Today at rehab, she spoke about the days, months, and worst day of her life that Peter knows nothing about. In this case, he doesn't know her. Sure he knows about the school's shooting, anyone within the metro radius knows about it, but they don't really know. Peter doesn't know Emma, he never will.

"Well. Where have you been? How's rehab? Is it working out?" Peter started to ask her, "Don't be a stranger. ." Emma wanted so badly to correct him, tell him that 'It's not rehab it's therapy. . '

Emma laid down her sock-monkey lying on her stomach and her head nestled with a pillow tiredly let out a yawn, "Yeah. Today was a big day. A lot of talking a long meeting with Diane. . but yeah it's all good. I think I finally put my dark feelings about the shooting away. . for good or a little bit at least. I shed some new light I guess."

"I'm glad to hear that. Tomorrow's Friday, no appointment." Emma knew exactly what he wanted to do, she knew he was going to ask her to hang out and Emma knew exactly what she was going to do.

"Yeah. I know I'm free of it for a few days." Emma told him hopefully he'd forget about hanging out but then again she wanted to drop the bomb on him anyhow. Even though tomorrow would be 'project Peter' she didn't know how she'd do it, but hanging out seemed to be the only affective way to get it over with. She hoped that perhaps if they weren't together he wouldn't call her as much and they'd behave like her and Manny do - as normal friends.

"Why don't we go for a walk at the park, get ice-cream, or a funnel cake or - just walk. . not running oh please not running! Not my thing. . I know I'll never be an Olympic runner that's for sure." he said with a laugh, which made Emma laugh for once as well. She knew running wasn't Peter's best activity she remembered outrunning him many times when she would run. She wished he never brought that up, she doesn't like looking back when she's trying to move on.

"I wasn't planning on running, with therapy and all I'm mostly booked. Maybe I wont do winter track or any sport activities - I'll lay low for sports season. . "

"But you'd kill every school. . you could do anything Em." Peter said in a slow persuasive voice, begging her to get her into new things, thinking he knew what she was capable of and what she could do, "Besides, it's your senior year - your last time to make your mark. . . "

"I-I know. It'll suck explaining why, but I'd hate to pass out clear on the basket ball court, or the track even if it is cold. It's just. . not good timing for it I think. Maybe if I'm ready, and I feel good and therapy really is working - right now it's all new to me and it's hard. I'm trying to get healthy . . back on track and such. Maybe I don't need all these priorities all around me everywhere I turn." Emma started at first with a silently serene calm voice but ended in sort of a raging mutter that was in a way directly focused at him. She added onto her rant, with a calm explanation almost, to cover it up in a way, something she constantly does to get Peter off a subject she feels uncomfortable about or doesn't necessarily like to mention, "I need time to pick my pieces up . . y'kno? Bad wording. . but yeah I need time to fix stuff up focus on grades and all. . health."

Bothered, Peter told her, almost as if he was making an attempt to be assertive but ending up only passive, "Maybe you should think about other people in your life too, Em. Are you shutting me out?"

"No. " she lied to him, but she knew she didn't need him, in a quick rush she said, "We'll go to the park and get ice-cream. Promise."

"Okay." he said sort of irritated with what she said earlier in their conversation, "How about five.?"

"Five's good." she told him.

"Good. It'll be nice seeing you. . I'll see you tomorrow my mom needs the phone. " Emma in the background heard the voice of Mrs. Hatzilacos telling him she needed to use the phone, "Love ya. . bye."

". . bye." she told him. As she slowly hung up the phone. _Love ya?_ she thought to herself, far from that. How can he not take a hint when it's literally thrown at him with so much force, she wondered to herself. He was too close for comfort and he truly needed a reality check, Emma's had too many to overcome but he needs one. She still tired shut off her purple colored creatively made feather and do-dad decorated lamp and rolled into her blankets holding her gray-monkey tight, with a light sigh she closed her eyes as if she would be closing her blinds and sailed off to sleep, she knew it was only seven thirty but she was tired as can be.


	2. Bonds To Be Broken

**Chapter Two; Bonds to be Broken**  
**Authors Notes;** Thanks for reviewing the previous chapter. Here's a new one for each and every one of you. Seems like the whole Peter/Emma break up makes everyone want to sizzle - here it goes.  
**Disclaimer;** The two of us do not own _Bubblelicious _brand gum (still unsure if they chew it in Canada), _Degrassi _of Eptome pictures, _Barbie _or her ex husband _Ken _whom belongs to the Mattel Company. We do own young _Chrissy_. ) and nothing else.

- x -

"Mom - I don't want to take her. I have plans . . can't you like get Darcy to do it. . she's a girl. ." Jay grumbled in a rude voice on a nice yet hazy evening in the large airy home where he and his mother Connie lived. Jay had never really gotten accustomed to his new living arrangement nor does he like it. He hates all of it, the house, the walls, how everything is so unmistakably clean how there are butlers and maids griping and devastated if there is one stitch of dust on one small cranny of a shelf or the large great-rooms mantle, everything had to be in tip-top shape to them, Jay lives with a bunch of neat freaks where he feels all alone in a crowd of people and he doesn't want anyone to know it. But backtrack, rewind, freeze - Jay lives in a large house, he has maids, butlers, he has a new step sister named Darcy and her father is a minister, his mother is Connie. . former stripper now getting into her second childhood - god bless her all of which is true. Rolled his eyes when Darcy's father, Lyle came into the room in his 'so-called suave' tie and shoes ready to go to a church meeting, wouldn't you normally think a minister would wear black, not him, they're church is . . different Jay likes to say without believing in them. For some reason when he hears the word church, he thinks of Spinner Mason and that is too weird for him anyway, "Well I refuse to take her, she'll just get hard to look after and all that. . I don't like it. . " Jay looks at his family of sell-outs and shakes his head and then looks down at his young five year old sister with her bright blue eyes and near-pearly, shiny platinum yet very natural hair gazing up at him and tugging on his blue Fruit-of-the Loom tee-shirt, "What is it? Here to annoy me once again? No thanks. Go play Barbie's and get lost."

Christina Hogart, Jay's little sister gazed up at her older brother whom she adored with her bright light-blue eyes. "But Jaaaayyy," She whined. "You promised you would take me to the park!" She pouted, tears brimming in her bright blue eyes - which made them seem a steely gray. "I don't want to go with Darcy. I want to go with my big brother." She said starting to throw a tantrum. She was, no doubt, spoiled rotten, she always got what she wanted and she tends to abuse that fact. Every time she throws a tantrum the person caves in and gets her what she wants, takes her where she wants to go, whatever her 6-year-old heart desired.

Darcy's father looked at Connie as if he knew what he was to do, he seemed to spoil her just as he spoiled Darcy, but Darcy is the only one who didn't seem to use it to her advantage, "Jay. . your taking her to the park. . if it's just for an hour . . be a big brother. Besides, I'll be at a retreat, your mom needs rest and with Darcy going to the beach house tonight with Manny for the weekend it'll just be you, Chrissy and your mother so - give your mom a break. ."

Jay stared at his so-called step father, not that he would actually consider him anything close to that. In Jay's eyes Lyle and Miss Perfect aka Darcy was evil - straight up evil. They were only there to corrupt his family, they were doing just fine till the All-Hail-God twins came along. He rolled his eyes, "Fine, I'll take her to the park." Then he mumbled "But only so I can get away from this hell hole."

"Cya when I get back." he waved trying to play that old happy to be in your life thing but it'd never work on Jay. Jay was too smart for that. He wouldn't believe anything that came out of his mouth even if the guy told him the truth. Jay grasped his sister's hand shaking his head as he stormed out of the house with her.

"Yay! Yes!" Chrissy cheered enthusiastically, jumping up and down while Jay's large hand held onto her tiny childish one. "I love the park, don't you Jay?" She asked, oblivious to the fact that Jay didn't want to take her, she was after all only five, and she forgets things easily. "Can we get some ice cream too?" She grinned a toothy grin up at him.

"No. It's a waste of money. Besides, Lyle would hate if I rotted your teeth in such a young age. . " He replied to her question with a grim voice. It was just the way it came out, besides he didn't work just yet The Dot did accept his application but he wasn't sure if he wanted to gung-ho and actually work there just yet he tends to look at his options before he steps into it, last time he didn't he lost more than just friends, "We'll eat when we get home. . maybe. If mom decides to cook."

"I want to go to McDonalds!" She yelled but it came out as more of a squeak since she was so small, "Please Jay-Jay?" She made a puppy dog face as Jay buckled her into a seat in the back of the car.

"No. I can't even afford ice cream at the park. . you know how bad McDonalds is for you? They use kangaroo meat in their burgers. . and worm eyes. I learned it in Science. Besides, its junk - and you get a stupid dinky doll if you win the prize big whoop or stupid happy meal I don't care. I say save your money for the mall."

"The mall?" She asked him happily "You're going to take me to the mall!" She began to bounce up and down in her seat completely ignoring Jay's lecture about McDonalds' way of making their food.

"Heck no. Like I'd take you to the mall. . you run around . . I find you in Libby Lui's and Toys R Us. No. . park. . just the park for an hour." He shut the door once he got her buckled and settled and went in the front seat speeding out of the estate as the larger than life gate shut behind them as his music blared out the tiny cars large sound system.

She frowned and covered her ears "This music is bad!" She yelled, "And really loud!" She stuck out her tongue and stared at the passing cars "One, Two, Three, Eleven, Eight, Twelve, Six, Ten, Fifteen, Seven. ." She tried to count the number of cars she saw but since she was so young she didn't quite know the order of the numbers yet.

Jay with spite, cranked up the radio even louder to drown out her sing-song sounds and her voice all together. He shouldn't feel that way about his little sister but he simply couldn't stand how she was so happy all the time, knows nothing about nothing, and gets anything she wants enabling her to become a young 'Darcy'. He wants his sister nothing to do with that, even though he won't do a thing about it, or hang out with her he finds her embarrassing.

They pulled up to the park a few minutes later, Jay got out of his car and unbuckled Chrissy, she immediately jumped out of the bright orange civic and headed for the swings. Jay walked slowly behind her not letting her out of his sight but not staying too close to her. Then he noticed a certain blonde sitting on a park bench. .

She was looking at her watch and sitting alone appearing as if she had been waiting for someone. She didn't look particularly thrilled to be at the park or to see whomever she was waiting for. On top of that, she looked different than he had seen her before, he couldn't put his finger on it but something about her was different. Was her hair blonder? Her skin had more glow, whatever it was. . he couldn't figure it out.

- x -

At the park, Peter Stone walked into the green serene park where they both Emma and him had met many times before but this time in daylight, not running just relaxing and having ice-cream. He really was thrilled about seeing her because lately she hadn't been into hanging out, leaving the house or only going to therapy, he saw her looking in the distance waiting for him. She was wearing a pair of Capri length jeans and a tee-shirt mostly white tee-shirt with a light pink silk-screened image with dark-blue sleeves. She had a jacket with her and navy blue ballet flats on her feet. She had been swinging her feet back and fourth as her pony tail wafted in the wind.

Emma Nelson stared at the swing set that was a little off in the distance, there was two children - One girl with extremely blonde hair, and another little boy who was being pushed by who she imagined to be his father. She heard the leaves crunch and she looked up to see Peter standing less than a couple feet from her "Hi Peter" She was emotionless, managing to throw on a fake smile.

Peter sat next to her in turn, he took in her perfume which smelt of flowers and candy to him and threw her a grin to follow her faked one, "Hey, you look great."

"Thanks. . " She murmurs quietly; being told she looked great didn't make her feel better about herself and she really wished that everyone would stop saying that. It would take time for her to be comfortable with herself again and rushing her to be comfortable was just going to slow the process - which was exactly why she needed to get rid of this relationship.

"You really do. . I'm not kidding like everyone else. I always thought you were. ." he pushed this conversation in overdrive. He didn't know what he was doing, he thought he was doing things right. Little did he know he was all wrong.

"Peter. . stop. Don't rant on about how I look good." She told him with annoyance in her voice. She didn't mean for her voice to sound that way but once it came out she wasn't displeased with it - maybe it would help him get the hint.

"Fine. . I just - I want you to know that. . I don't mean for it to piss you off. . you're being weird and distant again and I want to know if you're okay." He told her honestly but truthfully she thinks every word he speaks is utter lies. She doesn't believe him and she doesn't believe he could change from anywhere and she was stupid before to think that.

"I'm fine Peter. You don't need to worry so much." She said distantly, she was lost in her thoughts. Trying to piece together how she was going to break up with him but keep their friendship intact.

"Yes I do. . because last time I didn't even think the slightest thought that you were starving yourself. . I don't want something happening like that again. . I don't know what I'd do. . " he told her putting his hand on her shoulder to draw her into what he's trying to tell her. He sighed looking down, "I love you. . "

She looked at him then back at the ground again _I love you? _She asked herself, this was going in the opposite direction of where she wanted this to go and she knew she would have to put in all her energy into making this work out for the best "Well. . I'm in therapy, I won't starve myself again. ." She shrugged away his hand from her shoulder and avoided the I-love-you line.

"What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing's the matter, like I said before I'm perfectly fine." She looked back up to him, wishing that she could jump foreword in time and get this all over with.

"I try and I try to get you to see how much I care for you. . and how do I know you want to be healthy again . . I fail to believe it now, because all I see you do is complain. . and push anyone who tries to help you away. . I'm just trying to be a good boyfriend all your being is difficult and rude. "

"You try too hard; all you care about is my health and well being. I like the way our relationship was before, back when we had to hide our relationship because Manny hated you." A smirk crept up on her face. "This whole relationship has become a chore to me. ."

"Oh?" he asked standing up fuming with anger as she told him he had practically just wasted his time, his fair face turned pink. Agitated, he walked in front of her, "You want to know the truth?. . Emma you're just a tease, you lead me on and then push me away. You aren't worth me worrying over because honestly all it did was weigh me down. You want everyone to feel sorry for you, even when you act like you don't. . it's like who cares if anything happens sometimes I wonder if your a robot because it doesn't seem like you have feelings because you crush everyone else's. I hope you have a good life Emma Nelson because at this point I don't care what you do. . is this what you wanted? Well you get you way again, Em. It's over."

"Peter . . I wanted to be friends! You're smothering me." she wanted to tell him so bad, but her mouth wouldn't release a word. He shook his head when she said nothing and just stormed away not even bothering to look back. She watched him as he left, she didn't say anything. Emma looked down at her shaking hand as her tears started welling from her eyes falling to her cheeks. She didn't want to move from where she was. She didn't care to move.

- x -

About forty minutes after they arrived at the park, Jay got thirsty. He had been pushing his younger sister on the swings for awhile and he was working up a thirst. He swore he heard the vending machine calling his name, "Listen don't move from the swings. . I'm going to get myself a coke from the vendor up the hill." he told his sister who he had been pushing on the swings for a little bit while they were at the park. She knew exactly what that meant, he was going to go and then he was going to look for her so that they could go home. She nodded looking down as she slowly came to a stop, since her legs were so small she couldn't really get herself to swing sufficiently so he turned around, "Kick your legs up and back it will work." as he walked up the hill to the vendor which was behind Emma who had her head in her hands and was crying. He had never really seen Emma cry, so he didn't know how to handle it. He didn't want to leave her there all alone, he wanted to know what was the matter, he hadn't officially gotten over his feeling for her. He sees she's wearing a shirt she wore when she went to Wasega Beach that one Friday, he remembered when the sun beat down upon them as he dug with her in the sand and ended up initially burying her. He didn't like the thought or the sight of people crying, he, after he got his bottle of Coke he quick asked before going on to sit by her on the decrepit bench, "Uh. . is this seat taken?"

Emma sniffled and glared at him with his pleading eyes then looked away "No. . not like it would matter anyway, you're already sitting there." in a spiteful manner she spoke. She was still saddened about that day's events and there was no way that Jay Hogart could make them better.

"Uh okay? I just thought I would ask. How are you these days?" he asked trying to keep on a good topic. He really did have an interest of what she was up to. He wanted to speak with her and talk to her no matter how much she hated it.

"Why do you care?" She asked looking at him, her head was still on her knees but it was turned so she could face him. He looked at her seriously "Do you really want to know?" He nodded at her question and she braced herself, returning herself to honesty, "I've been. . okay, I guess, alright. . things could be a lot better."

"How could they be better?" he quizzed her curiously and cautiously. 

"Well. . I just broke up with Peter because I'm dealing with too much stuff, I had intentions of keeping him as a friend but he took it the wrong way and stormed off not to mention he yelled and I really didn't need that . . not to mention everybody walking on eggshells around me. . and therapy is a living nightmare."

Jay frowned lightly, "He's stupid anyway. . his mother is with Hatzilacos. . and Hatzilacos has a rep. . I heard she and some teacher got really close at the movie premiere." He told her, completely unaware that it was Snake he was talking about "Therapy for what? You're not crazy. . "

" Therapy for. ." She paused, she didn't want to just say that she had an eating disorder - it wasn't that easy. She often wished that it was that easy but there was always other things tied in - things like the shooting. "For a lot of things." She finally said. She was amazed at the fact that she was having a normal civilized conversation with Jay. . and she actually enjoyed it..

"Oh. . I hope things get better. . I had a cousin who went to therapy and you'd never know. . he's perfectly alright now. . so it's good your going to get things sorted out whatever they are. ." he had a somewhat saddened face on, part of him knows what it is, the shooting and he didn't do such a nice job of helping her out.

"I'm working on getting things sorted out. . working on getting better. Maybe things will be better without Peter worrying about me twenty-four-seven; he won't be constantly asking me how therapy is or what I've eaten today. ."

"Eating?" he asked raising an eyebrow, "Are you sure he's not a stalker?"

She laughed a little, Jay thinking Peter was a stalker made her laugh. . something she hadn't done genuinely for a while. "No I'm positive he isn't a stalker. . I. . I had some problems. . with food and eating."

His face faded, and he then noticed what looked different all of a sudden, she was looking unusually slim, "Oh. . well you have therapy now. . and not him breathing down your neck every five seconds." he knew that Peter's heart was in the right place but he also knew he was going too far with it.

She nodded "And I want to get better, I really do. . It's just hard."

"Very hard to. My cousin he was a wrestler. . he made weight for years. . and it kind of was hard to get back to things when he didn't. . so I know sorta. I imagine it is. I hope you get better. "

She smiled lightly "Thanks. That means something coming from you. ."

He nodded getting up, "Well I'll leave you alone now. . besides I got to find my kid sister who knows where she's at."

"Oh, okay." She sat up, picking her head up off of her legs. Her face was tear stained and her eyes were red. "Is she the one with the really blonde hair?" She questioned him "Because if so, I saw her wander towards those trees over there," She pointed to the trees "About fifteen minutes ago."

He snickered about it all, how she knew where his sister was, how they had a civil conversation, how they talked without pointing fingers or anything like that, "Yeah that's her. . she loves trees. . I better get her away from them. Always tending to run off . . bye. Cya around Nelson." as he ran off to go find his five year old sister.

"Bye" She smiled lightly, she sat there for a few more seconds, watching him walk away, before she got up to head towards her house. Now she was satisfied with the way things had worked out. No Peter means she will have some freedom. And just talking to Jay some how made her feel better. .

- x -

Jay once he left Emma at that bench, he immediately wished he didn't. She didn't seem okay, he wasn't sure how he could tell but he knew something was off. Anyhow he needed to go, he knew she didn't want to see him, his face or him in general because of their pasts conflicts. He had to leave her anyway because of his little sister somewhere around the park getting into some type of mischief. He knew they were related in that aspect, her always sneaking, running off and he did the same and he knew exactly where she had ran off to. He heard the crunching of the left over autumn leaves, he sighed in the aroma of the pines and fir trees all around, a slightly relaxing scent and proceeded to walk inside the clearing, he saw a blonde lock blowing in the small amount of shade and a pink-purple sleeve of a shirt and he knew he found her, but he wanted to play it off a tad, "Christina Nichole. . " she of course in turn fidgeted to the next tree over and he proceeded to catch her and picked her up easily, "Alright. . let's go kid."

The wind blew around Chrissy, she was a bit cold but she didn't want to leave. She heard her brother's footsteps and voice calling her name but she hid from him. The hiding wasn't very effective since he caught her less than a minute later. She screamed because he scared her "Noo!" She whined "I want to stay here!" She pouted, trying her best to convince Jay.

He chuckled at her failing attempt to escape his grip as he carried her squeamish body out of the woods, "Come on, I said an hour you're lucky you had an hour. . " an annoying voice slipped form his lips as they started reaching his car in the stone makeshift parking lot.

She kicked her legs and pounded her hands onto Jay's back "I want to stay!" She yelled seconds later screaming, causing a complete scene "Let me stay Jay!" She squirmed and tried her hardest to get out of his arms. "Put me down Jason!" She demanded, she was being a brat but she wanted to stay and let Jay talk to that girl again, she smirked to herself at the thought.

"What will you do at home every day anyway, you'll have fun play with your dolls and I'll watch television and pester Darcy - even if she'll be down the shore with Santos all week. And if you keep carrying-on like this I'll tell ma and she'll ground you for being disrespectful to someone she put in charge of you with. . do you want to be cooked up in your room with nothing to do? I don't think so." He loved coercing her to listen to him, usually she takes it his way but she always has the temper she's a born hot head. Their father was a hothead, being lawyer arguing all day was his job and let's just say occasionally he argued overtime. He sat her down in her larger car seat since she was less than forty pounds and he buckled her in before shutting the door on his side.

Chrissy waited for Jay to get to the drivers side and get in before she spoke again. "Ha, right. I'm only six Jay. You can't ground a SIX YEAR OLD. It's not like I have a life to ground me away from." She said stubbornly, she then stuck out her tongue.

"Oh right. . I forgot Chrissy doesn't have a life." he smiled poking fun at his youth sister. She was right, Chrissy was officially babied by their mother and Mr. Edwards whom Jason would never call his father, even if her sister could be bought with Barbie's, candy and of course money, "Oooh yes you could. I could oh - tell ma how you stole that pack of Bubblelicous from the Dot when we went before I went with you to visit grandma."

She gasped "You wouldn't." She saw the look in his eyes through the mirror "Okay, you would but who says mommy would believe you? You tell a lot of lies Jay everyone knows." She shrugged "Besides it was fun." She looked up at him "I want to be just like you Jay. I wanna drink and smoke cigarettes and steal stuff."

He jerked the car into a complete stop at the nearby shoulder throwing Chrissy into shock and confusion, Jay never knew Chrissy looked up to him as much as she had. She always wanted to hang out, have him take her to the park, always wanting to go only with Jay somewhere and blow off Darcy, but he didn't think his little sister had that much of an impact on him, he slowly protested in a calm tone, "You don't mean that. . "

Her small body flew foreword at the sudden stop but the car seat stopped her from going to far. She spoke honestly, "I do Jay. I wanna be just like you, I think you're a great big brother when you aren't mean. ." She looked at him with that classic smirk that must be a trait in the Hogart family because everyone seems to do it.

He listened to her as he saw in the rearview mirror her classic Hogart smirk at him, and sighed discouraged and crestfallen still keeping the car stopped leaning his head on the wheel lightly but not too hard to sound the horn, he pled with her, finding all of his excuses that were mostly true, "I'm not a good role model. . at all . . I'm most likely in the yearbook superlatives to fail. . to fail at life and land in jail. I don't want to see you in jail. "

"You aren't a failure Jay. You're my hero. You never let anyone push you around or get in your way. You just do what you want no matter what people think of you." She looked at the back of his head rested on the steering wheel.

He muttered in reply to her, "I wish I could do it in a fair way without hurting people. . "

Chrissy looked at him, confused "What did you say Jay? You don't hurt people. . at least no one that I know of." Of course she didn't know about those he had hurt, like Emma, because people like Emma were his secret. No one knew what had happened with him and Emma, not even Alex, it was a secret and that's what it's always going to be. . their little secret.

"I hurt peoples feelings. . I say mean things it just isn't me and I have no point pushing people away. . I don't know sis. ." he started the drive back up removing his head from the steering wheel and slowly getting back on the road, "Life sucks, enjoy your childhood while you still can."

"I love you Jay" She smiled, her eyes brightening. Love reminded her of something. It reminded her of that girl, the girl Jay was talking to "Jay who was that girl you were talking to earlier. . the really pretty one?"

He smiled lightly at his sister through the rearview mirror as he drove, his sister was the only one who's seemed to find a patch of good in him even if he felt dirty and disgustingly guilty about everything, "Me too. " he told her as they drove down the road a little bit she then told him about Emma in the park, "Uh. Her name is Emma. She and I went to school together. . her ex boyfriend used to be my best friend. . and you remember Sean right?"

"Yeah I remember Sean" She blushed; she used to have a little crush on Sean. Okay, maybe not little, it was as big as her little six-year-old heart would let her. "Emma, I like that name. . she's really pretty." She smiled "You two should get married, and then she'd be my big sister." She smiled even wider.

"Yeah . . I know I know. . ", On the other hand when Emma's name was mentioned, he laughed with a lack of amusement, more of a half hearted sound, part of him liked Emma but knew she'd never let him back into her life as anything more than just an acquaintance, "Life's not like Barbie and Ken life, y'kno? People just can't go and marry whoever they want."

"Barbie and Ken got a divorce. . duh." She laughed. "You should invite Emma over someday, I bet mommy and daddy would like her." Chrissy already called Mr. Edwards 'daddy' since her real father left shortly after she was born and had no real father until now. Personally she liked him, he gave her everything she wanted, she didn't get why Jay didn't like him or Darcy, but she didn't really care either.

"Oh so they mock it's real life?" he snickered, I guess little kids get exposed to that early on they're better off like him. He loved his dad his dad was his best friend and all they did was fight. He wondered where the love was and why there wasn't any in his life, the closest feeling he came to love was with Alex when they were young, he thought he loved her but he met somebody else that changed his life, Emma. But like everything else in his life he managed to screw it up. He managed to screw up in school, with the girl he dreams of, his friends and even his family relations most of the family avoids Jay all together, "She'd decline the invitation more than likely."

"You won't know if you don't ask her." She handed him his cell phone which he had left in the back seat. "Call her." She instructed, "She doesn't hate you, Jay. She was upset before you talked to her. . and then after you talked she was all. . smiley."

"Sure whatever sis. . no cell phones while driving it's the law." He told her pretending to be disinterested, truthfully he was scared of her, scared of what she'd tell him and he'd be just wasting his time on the whole thing, "She's not a type of person to be moved by anything anyone does. . she's very hard to please she's also not interested, trust me, I know she's not interested. I know these things."

"Call her when we get home then. Just to see if she's okay. . 'cause she was really upset earlier. And if she's upset now you can be there to cheer her up." She smiled hopefully. "And then she'll like you and you can invite her over."

He laughed turning into their large spacious estate, rolling his eyes as he stopped the gate as it opened, "If it was that easy I'd be still talking to her wouldn't I? And you'd be waiting for me to take you home as you get antsy."

She shrugged "What do I know? I am, after all, only six." She laughed. Jay drove up the driveway and parked in an open space. He got out of the car and unbuckled her from her car seat. He helped her out of the car and she ran off into the house. He shut the door, alarmed the car, and followed her in slowly.


	3. Escape

**Chapter Three; Escape**

**Authors Notes; **The fight between Darcy and Manny in High Fidelity didn't happen. And yeah the Alex plot is random - but we're random. Get used to it. )

**Disclaimer;** We own nothing except for this hot and spicy plot. . which we would, in a heartbeat, sell to degrassi if it meant we'd get emjay. . and the money of course.

Manuella Santos packed up her bathing suits and miniskirts, extra sweats and jeans for a weekend with her good friend Darcy Edwards in Wasega Beach. Of course Emma was invited as well, but Emma had other plans to attend to, and Manny doubted the last place Emma would want to be is in a bikini in all places Wasega Beach, Emma couldn't run into Sean she simply wasn't in the state. Darcy expected Manny's arrival, her red Corvette was waiting outside on the long driveway which was a hike for her duffel bag carrying friend, so she waited at the doorway so Jay couldn't answer and expose the fact that they live together, and she was truly embarrassed of him. She didn't mind the younger stepsister, even if she had Jay written all over her, "Manny there you are! Do you need help?" she asked hopping off her step and taking her keys that with a press of a button she could open her trunk for Manny to dump her duffel bag in.

Manny grinned, showing her dimples. "Even with the two of us couldn't pick up this bag." She laughed "Do you have like a brother or something that could, like, help us? Because I have two more of these bags on the sidewalk." She pointed to a place on the sidewalk where two bags, covered in hello kitty print, sat. "There was no way I could carry all three over here, I could barley carry one! And this is the lightest one!" She laughed lightly. She turned back to Darcy and in the process her eyes came across an Orange Civic. No not AN orange Civic, it was THE orange Civic. The one that belonged to the evil asshole Jay Hogart, "Um, Darcy? Why is Jay Hogart's car in your driveway?"

Darcy smiled back at her friend as she managed to pick up the bag and placed it neatly in the trunk, "I weight lift everyday with my trainer Paul. And no, my trainer only comes on Monday Thru to Friday from eight to twelve during summer, during the school year he comes on the Weekends. He's not bad looking either. No brother though." she giggled as she carried one of the two and she said, "My car isn't far just drop the second one in." she then noticed Manny freeze out of nowhere and say words she dreaded, Crap, I told him to park it in the garage , "Jay Hogart? Who's Jay Hogart?"

Manny struggled to carry the last of the three bags over to the car, she put it in the trunk "Jay Hogart, the owner of the infamous Orange Civic. I know that's his car because no one else is crazy enough, or stupid enough, I'm not sure which it is, to paint their car bright orange." She glared at the car like it was Jay, thinking that if she glared at the car hard enough somewhere, where ever Jay was, it would hurt him. "He used to steal. . drink. . smoke. . hook up with girls in the ravine and give them gonorrhea." She rolled her eyes, "Scratch that used to, he still does all of that stuff."

Darcy squinted her eyes at the ugly vehicle, it's hard to pretend you don't know someone and lie about it, she hated Jay and she could see Manny hated him, "Worst car I've ever seen in my entire life. . I wonder why he's here - probably to get penance from my dad from his sins. Maybe he'll try to be a good boy."

"Good boy? Right Darcy, dream on hun." She laughed lightly and hopped into the passenger side of the car. "I mean yeah he's hot. Very hot. But all that stuff he's done is such a. . turn off." She sighed "Now if he was like Craig, Oh My God, I would be all over him right now." She smiled dreamily, secretly thinking of Jay as a good guy. "But it's not possible, guys with looks like that aren't good. It's a bad boy thing."

She laughed at her friend's stupidity of even thinking of her stepbrother in that way, she put her key in the car and reversed out of the estate and drove into the direction of the beach, "So Manny, what CD should we use for the way? We could use oldies but goodies or some new crap I have stashed around. . check my glove box."

Manny opened the glove box and a picture of Darcy and a little girl who had piercing blue eyes, bright blonde hair and a smirk that looked similar to that of Jay's "Aw. This little girl is so cute! Who is she?" She asked Darcy, continuing to dig in the glove box; she pulled out a Switch foot CD, Beach Boys CD, and a Taking Back Sunday CD, "You're choice, The Christian rock group, the extremely cool old guys, or the really hot lead singer with the amazing vocals?" She asked, only giving Darcy small clues as to which bands she had chosen but still giving her the choice of CD in the end.

Darcy smirked, at a red-light and saw the picture, and let another lie seep from her lips, "Oh my little cousin. . I barely see her. And I don't care what we listen to, I said your choice. . "

"She's cute. Introduce me sometime." Manny laughed "And I say we go with Spice Girls. It's fun, it's entertaining, and hey in their time they were hot!" She threw her arms up and out of the convertible 1965 Corvette, "I love this car, I wish I had one just like it. . but in purple. Purple is just such an awesome color!" She rambled on and put the CD in the player "If you wanna be my lover. ." She sang along.

She smirked as they drove listening to memories of the past, "Did you ever like play spice girls with friends and stuff when you were little. . like dress up like them?"

"Yeah all the time. Emma was always Baby Spice and I was Posh. . one time when we were five we even got JT to dress up like one of them. It was hilarious, Spike has pictures." Manny started laughing at the picture that came up in her mind.

She giggled, at the thought, "J.T. the mascot!"

"Yeah JT the mascot. And unbelievably my ex boyfriend." She stuck out her tongue, "It was awkward, I've known him for so long and I know all these secrets about him - like the Spice Girls thing. It felt like we were more brother and sister than boyfriend and girlfriend."

"I didn't know you dated J.T. Yorke. . although I do know you dated one of my mine. I love that guy, he's visiting Kendra's birth family with his 'rents. . he was forced to come along. Which means this summer is officially all girls. It's all good so far. He writes me though so it's not so bad."

"Spinner?" She asked, knowing well about their relationship "You and Spinner were meant to be." She nodded, smiling a bit. "No other guy would write to his girlfriend while he was countries away when instead he could be out having sex." She said bluntly, not even considering that Darcy might take in the wrong way. "There's only a few guys like that around here. And I'm proud to say that Spinner Mason is one of them."

"He calls me too, I know when he lies I can hear it in his voice. And after this ring he gave me, I know that I could trust him with anything." she smiled happily as they drove and she admired the ring from the steering wheel, "Excuse me, Manny? And you'd know that how?"

"Know what how?" She asked, confused again. I swear if you just talked to the girl but didn't pay attention to how she looked you would think she was a blonde. She's very. . how to put this in a nice way. . slow. She gets confused easily too. Manny turned to Darcy "What would I know?" She asked again.

"Like Spinner is different than most guys." she told Manny, "At least my boyfriend doesn't sit there and go, I'm with you and then says the same thing to another girl. Paige told me about that before. . I don't know. I never liked the girl but she's a great leader as well."

Manny frowned "That was a long time ago. We've done some growing up since then." A tear slid down her cheek, "But I guess he hasn't grown up enough. I found out that Ashley is in Vancouver. . with Craig. So I had to end it, I didn't wanna deal with all that again."

She nodded looking at the sign, which showed how many miles to their destination "Hey look on the Brightside, Wasega is just miles away! I wonder why Emma couldn't show up. . I forget why I was too busy packin'. . "

Manny cheered up slightly "Ahh. We're so close I can smell the ocean water." She breathed in deeply "I can't wait; we can stay up all night and tan all day. It'll be the best summer ever!"

"One week we'll have to bring Emma. . she'll love it here. I don't think she's ever lived yet!" she exclaimed as they crossed the small bridge that connected a part of the area under a small lake, "I can smell the ocean. . "

"Emma used to go to Wasega beach all the time. Before Sean moved back here with his parents, she doesn't wanna risk running into him. Besides she's not really in the best. . state. If you know what I mean."

-x-

Jay was looking through the yearbook on the kitchen table, as his sister was watching a movie on television in the next room over on their big screen TV that the flickers from the light can be seen from the kitchen, Connie was baking a cake in the kitchen a special treat for her kids whom she gets to spend the weekend with just them three, "So Jay. . surprised to see you home. No plans?"

Jay shook his head "No plans." He said with most of his attention on the yearbook. It was amazing how much everyone had changed in a year. He was flipping through the pages but stopped immediately when he saw her picture. She was different this year, everything about her was different. She liked to change a lot, he guessed because she never stayed the same old Emma Nelson he'd met two years ago. He'd never expected that she would get an eating disorder either. . she didn't seem like the type who cared about her appearance that much.

"I have to do something about this mop. . I have to call Christine to get an appointment tomorrow." she tells him smiling reaching the phone and pressing the button for speed dial for her hairstylists number, she waited a few moments until she heard the voice of Emma, "Oh hey Emma. . could you give the phone to your mother it's me Connie."

Jay's head shot up at the mention of Emma's name, his mother had Nelson's phone number? He'd spent all day looking through this damn yearbook when he could of just asked his mom? He chuckled to himself as he looked down to see a picture of Princess Paige and his ex Alex standing next to each other. He still didn't really get that whole lesbian thing, but he had to admit, it was hot. He turned the page and all thoughts of his ex girlfriends sexuality was erased as he saw Spinner Mason, his ex best friend, and Darcy Edwards, the evil stepsister all close and lovey. . that just made him wanna gag. . what did Spinner see in that evil bitch?

"How is she doing lately? Is she feeling better about everything? It's good to take it one step at a time. . that's what I was told. I would say, I have a son her age. But she's probably not in the state." she laughed with her friend, "well I wanted to know if I could get a haircut tomorrow. The time , I don't mind I have off all weekend. . I have so much time on my hands I don't know what to do with it. . honestly. After taking that 9-5 job at the bank only on Monday's to Friday's gives me some chump change to carry around."

Inside Jay's head he was laughing hysterically at his mother's comment that she had a son Nelson's age. Yet at the same time he'd give anything to have a chance to talk to her again. But being set up by their parents would be more than weird and it would just make things more awkward then they already were, even though that little chat they had yesterday was a nice change of pace he was sure it was a one time thing.

"Okay, I'll come by the salon around 3. . . bye." she hung up and then looked at Jay, and over his shoulder "Darcy's yearbook? Aw Darcy looks so pretty at semiformal with her boyfriend Gavin. How come you didn't go to semiformal?"

"I couldn't go to semiformal mom, remember? I got kicked out. ." He flipped through a few more pages, bored and trying to find the autograph section. He finally found it. . but now he had to find Nelson's phone number, because he decided against asking his mother. He found her pink sharpie signature and phone number. He recited it in his mind as he walked back to his room, careful not to forget a single digit. He dialed the numbers and pressed send.

"Hello. . " a tired sounding Emma Nelson's raspy voice sounded through the earpiece of Jay's phone, "Who is this?"

"It's Jay. ." He said, immediately regretting calling. "Did I wake you up?" He asked even though he knew that he didn't because she had just answered the phone when his mom called.

"Jay? How did you get my number? No you didn't wake me I was watching TV." Startled she sat up placing her pillow on her headboard allowing herself to sit up, she took the remote lying next to her and lowered the volume.

"I got it from the phonebook." He lied; Darcy wasn't the only one lying about her new step family. He was happy that she hadn't hung up the phone yet but he still wanted to talk to her.

"Oh. . cool. So I want to uh thank you for calming me down earlier. ." she told him in the most subtle way that she's cool with him speaking to her. She knows she couldn't speak to Jay completely frank and blunt because Jay himself doesn't speak that way.

"No Problem. ." He said silently understanding what she meant and he couldn't help but smirk because things were actually working out for once. "So. . Nelson," He considered calling her by her real first name but that was so unusual to him that 'Nelson' just came out of his mouth, "How are you?" He asked cautiously hoping she wouldn't think that he was just like Peter, only caring about therapy and things like that.

"I'm okay." she told him, "How are you?"

"I'm good, a little bored, I'm stuck at home." He laughed lightly

She laughed lightly, but then added in the fact that he wasn't out hanging out with the future felons he called friends, she wasn't even sure she even hung out with them, in a dull tone "Surprised you're home. . "

"I'm hardly ever home, I'm always somewhere, doing something. Not today though. I want to get out of the house but all of those so called future felons are doing something."

"I'm home too much; biggest hermit in the world is me. I was surprised I was actually out in public earlier." She smirked at the whole conversation which was going suprisingly well. If the conversation had been last year he would've gotten a hang up before he even managed to say hello.

"I haven't been outside since last night when I was at the park with my sister. . I think my back is bruised from her pounding on it because she didn't wanna go home." He chuckled

She laughed, "Violent much? How old is she?"

He leaned back in his chair, more relaxed now. "Not violent. . just spoiled. She always gets what she wants. Sad thing is, she's only six. Imagine how she's gonna be when she's thirteen."

"Like Paige Michalchuck." she told him. "Wait no. . bad example. . like her when she was thirteen."

He laughed "I didn't know Paige when she was thirteen but I imagine it was bad."

"Well you know her now?"

"I know _of_ her. And she used to date my ex girlfriend. ."

She stifled a light laugh, she would guess they did belong together they were both complete witches, "I didn't expect that."

"Trust me, neither did I."

"I never liked that girl. . just don't tell her I said that." she said tiredly.

"Alex or Paige?" He asked

"Either of them."

He laughed "Well I kinda knew you didn't like Alex, I mean you two got in that fight a couple years ago. And then Paige. . I thought you liked her, especially after you two teamed up for that ribbon campaign."

"Sure back then I thought she and I were fighting the good fight. . I began to forget why the heck we were beating him up. . especially when you got involved. I was like, forget this. I'm glad I didn't go as far as putting him in a dumpster, and then proceeding to make him the object of a public mockery with the paint and feathers thing."

Jay heard his cell phone beeping, signaling that it was near death. He didn't want to just hang up and let their phone conversation be over; he still wanted to talk to her. "Emma, listen I gotta go, my phones about to die. Maybe later do you wanna go to the dot or the park or something and we can continue our conversation?" He asked her a little nervous of what her response would be.

"We could go to the park. . . Dot's not a good idea." she told him quick so he'd be able to get the conversation before his phone would die. She really did need to process everything, them talking at the park and their deep phone discussion she really wasn't sure where this was going but she didn't have to time to really think it through. It's like a hill to her, when she used to ride her bike she noticed once you're at the top you'll inevitably fall and you'll keep going until you reach the bottom and you have nowhere else to go. She hoped she wasn't falling for no reason, she hoped that she had a reason, she then covered up her quick answer to make it seem as if she wasn't completely depending on it as she heard he was still on the other end, "I mean. . okay sure - park's okay. I'll leave you to it now? Goodbye." For some reason she wanted to hang on, even if he was only going to hang up after her goodbye. She wanted to hear him hang up, before she proceeded to himself.

"Bye" He replied quietly before hanging up. This was going better than he'd ever dreamt it would. Just then he heard a knock at his door, he opened it up to see none other than Alex Nuñez standing in his doorway. . crying. She looked bruised and beaten up "Lexxi? What's wrong?"

Jay spending a lot of time at home, and Alex's troubles at home lack an end Jay's house had become a retreat for her. A place to know she has a good friend for her to talk about anything with, Jay now has a lot on his mind, he needs his friend to be okay with this new arrangement he has but he knows the two girls have a bad history. He was relieved it was dark; he hated seeing his best friend in this state he heard her shudders and her forcing her tears to subside. He knew she had no fear but for a reason, she didn't want him to know that she had tears to cry with, ". . I think - h-he. . she. . Chad -" she had no choice but to tell him. Chad and Jay were friends to a point that he'd mooch to get free alcohol with but his mother and Alex's mother had been friends for awhile. They were school friends and just grew together through bad habit and through life like Alex and he minus the past relationship bond that the two of them had. Chad was a drinker; Jay knew that well he just didn't know the truth that when he wasn't there a whole different portrait is painted.

Jay stepped aside, letting her into his room, she sat down on his bed and in the light he could see even better. Bruises, scratches, blood and tears stained her face and neck. He flinched at the sight but didn't want her to see the fear that had shown up in his eyes, so he looked away. "What did he do Alex?" He asked, his voice rising a little, angry at Chad even though he wasn't there. Jay wasn't stupid, he figured it out once the word Chad came out of her mouth that it wasn't good - the bruises only confirmed what he thought. He sat down next to her and looked at her, he wiped away some of her tears and handed her a tissue.

She buried her face in her hands and proceeded a failed attempt to wipe her tears knowing they'd simply keep falling as the rain was falling, she was drenched she looked down sitting down on the very small corner of his bed, "I have to tell you something. . okay? And you're going to be pissed. . " she started slowly sniffling, "When you aren't over - my house isn't what you think - okay? Chad hits my mom. . and tonight I think she's . . . gone. I heard them fighting as usual and I went in after he left the room and I found her . . and she was - unconscious. She was bleeding and bruised and I couldn't do a thing about it - I'm so used to it - and I only came in because she was saying, 'Help me, Lex' . . and I . . went in when the coast was clear Chad caught me seeing her - and I . . " She then suddenly didn't even finish telling him what happened, she just cried some more. She probably understood he had a lot to process, his drinking buddy hit women and he really never knew.

He listened to her, his anger rising but he knew there was nothing to do about it. The best he could do was to comfort Alex and make sure that Chad was gone - for good. He grabbed a blanket off of the bed and wrapped it around her, at the same time wrapping his arm around her waist. He held her close like when they were little and she was upset. Alex was the only one that had seen him as a softy so he didn't have to worry about trying to act tough. He wasn't sure what to say, 'I'm sorry' didn't seem too fitting, it was more than just an I'm sorry. He was mad, and upset and a mix of other emotions all tangled together that just left him confused.

Jay was glad that she had changed the subject because he still didn't know what to say. "I was on the phone with -" He was interrupted but another knock at the door. The door opened and in came his mother.

"Alex! Darling! How are you?" She asked not noticing the tears and bruises at first but once she got a good look at her she saw them and gasped. Connie had known about Chad's dangerous behavior but didn't know that he had hit Alex too. "What happened?" She asked "Is your mother okay? Are you okay?" She quizzed quickly. "Jay go and get her a wet cloth and some Band-Aids." She demanded.

Connie loved when Alex stopped by, she was saddened when Jay and Alex broke up and of course she never knew why. Jay walked out of the room and Alex worriedly looked at her close friend Connie who had the look of pure worry in her eyes. Alex up until these past few weeks had been healing her wounds with Band-Aids from home or a tube of cover up she has to hide behind like a mask, "I don't know how to say this, Aunt Connie."

"Say what hunny?" Connie started jumping to conclusions about what may of happened. Her level of worry jumped up about 3 notches, "Is it your mother?" Alex simply nodded, and tears started spilling from Connie's eyes. Jay came back into the room and handed the cloth and band aids to the no longer crying Alex. He handed the box of tissues to his mother and sighed, "I can't believe this happened." He said.

"I guess because she was unconscious. . he wanted to get someone who wasn't. . it happens all the time you don't need to worry about me. . " she tried to remain calm avoiding eye contact with Connie and Jay. She was scared, she really did need to be watched and worried about, her problem was that she didn't want a problem and she never would let down her guard even if she couldn't help herself, "I don't even know if she'll wake up this time. . if you only would've saw her. . " trailing off to a whisper and looking at her continuously shaking hand.

"Did you call 911?" Jay asked, worried about her mother. He knew that she might not of considered that at the time because she was so upset. He sat back down next Alex and picked out a spot on the ground and started at it, thinking about all that had happened and all that had ever happened. He thought about the mysterious bruises that would show up on Alex's arm or side. He thought about how some days she would wear so much cover up you couldn't see the few freckles on her face but then other days she wouldn't wear any at all. _How could I not of known? Why did I let this continue?_ He asked himself.

"He kicked me out. . he told me he never wanted to see me again - he told me that he didn't care what my mother did. . he was so drunk he went off the deepend. I didn't even get to call the police. . I just kept running like he was behind me. . but he wasn't. . I just kept faking myself out. . " She sighed and thought how did he not know that all this was going on, how he couldn't see the tension int he house that Alex felt each time Chad would invite Jay over.

He looked up at the clock on the wall and noticed that he was supposed to meet Emma over an hour ago. _Shit._ He thought, _Oh well, she's probably gone now anyway_. He returned his focus back to what was happening his room. "You can stay here." He told her "We have that guest room, and I'm sure it'll be okay, right mom?" He looked up at his mom whose tears had slowed. Connie nodded and got up to leave the room "I'll call Lyle and ask him right now." She wiped the remaining tears from her eyes.

"I can't impose. . I have a bed in the shelter waiting for me . . " she told them silently knowing that Lyle and Darcy wouldn't like it, she didn't want to go to the shelter but it was something she had to do. She knew that Darcy would talk about her to no end, and Lyle would get backlash at work for letting the likes of her into their home even though he would do it if Connie asked him, he could never say no to his wife.

"Why would you want to stay at the shelter when you can stay here?" Connie asked. "At least stay here for the weekend until Darcy and Lyle get back. They're both gone for the weekend and it would be nice to have you over." She told her, not wanting her to stay at some shelter where the food was crap and you didn't get any privacy.

She gazed up at Connie and nodded, defeated she spoke, "Fine. But I want to know if my mom is okay. . "

"I'll go over there with you." Jay spoke up after being silent for a few minutes. "I don't want you going over there by yourself." He said, clearly worried about her.

"Y-You sure?" she asked him standing up.

"Positive." He nodded and stood up too. "We'll be back soon mom." He then whispered to his mother "If we don't come back with Alex's mom you'll know why. ."

- x -

The house was in shambles it things were thrown and the lights were flickering on to off from the porch where they stood, there they saw Chad asleep on the couch with a bottle next to him. Alex's eyes went to Jay as she feared more and more, "I can't go in there. . "

Jay looked in the room and watched Chad with disgust "No, I'm not gonna let you stand out here and risk him waking up. . It'll be okay, I'm right here." He promised her and led her inside the house quietly.

"She's in her room. . " Alex whispered still scared as they reached Alex's mothers bedroom where she laid bruised and Alex could only imagine the pain she was in. She knelt beside her mother and slowly reached her moms cold hand and touched forearm and smiled, "She has a pulse though. . " she told Jay relieved.

"Let's get her out of here." He whispered "We can take her to the hospital. it isn't safe to call the ambulence because Chad might wake up." He looked down at the small woman who looked like she was in the most pain she's ever felt in her life. "She's small, I can carry her and she can lay down in the back seat." He told Alex, kneeling down on the other side of her mom.

Alex got up and just looked at Jay, as he attempted to pick her up and Alex slowly trudged sneaking to Jay's car where she waited for him. She kept thinking her steps were louder than they usually were as she tried hard not to wake Chad who was still sleeping on the couch, at the same time she was sure not to step on anything as she slowly pulled the creeking door and shut it silently behind her after Jay was carrying her moms limp body out of the house. Alex couldn't believe her and Jay had actually gotten away with it. They had a long ride to the hospital to go and it was a silent one.

They pulled up to the hospital and Jay got Alex's mom out of the back on the car "Go get her a wheelchair. . It'll be easier to carrier her. " He told Alex and she ran inside and came back less than five minutes later with a wheelchair and a nurse. Jay set her down in the wheel chair and the nurse wheeled her in. Jay started walking back to the car and Alex looked at him "Don't worry, I'm just going to park it. I'll be right back." He smiled weakly.

Alex held the handles on the wheelchair looking at her mothers still expression as her body laid in it. She swallowed hard

"What's your name young lady? And you're mothers name and age?" The nurse asked her as they entered the hospital. She was a short old lady who had a pleasant tone in her voice despite having to work with sick people all day.

"M-My name is Alex. . and my mothers name is Emily. . Emily Nunez. . she's 26 years old."

"Okay Alex, do you know what happened to Emily?" She asked looking at the limp body in the wheelchair. She slowly took Emily's arm to check to see if she had a pulse, which she did. "How long has she been unconscious?"

"An hour or less. . m-my mothers boyfriend . . and he hit me because I looked after my mom - I ran to my friends. . and then went to go get her." she teared up thinking about the whole situation. She didn't like talking in big words, short and vague especially about this situation in particular.

"Okay, did you know where her boyfriend is?" The nurse, who's name tag read Patti, headed for a phone sitting on a desk.

"In the house. . . he passed out on the couch I guess between me running off, ma'am. . "

"What's your address?" She asked politely, "So I can call the police."

"I live in Greenwood Meadow's trailer park. . trailer sixteen B." she looked away, partly ashamed of where she lived.

"Oh that's a nice trailer park." She smiled sweetly. She then picked up the phone and dialed the police "Hi Officer Del Valle, in Greenwood Meadow's trailer park. . trailer sixteen D, arrest the man passed out inside the house, you'll need to go without sirens because if you wake him, chances are he will run." She paused listening to the officer "He beat up his girlfriend. ." A few minutes later she hung up. "Okay now that that's taken care of lets get her in a room and get her a check up." She pushed Emily's wheelchair towards a room. Emily and Nurse Patti were followed by Alex who was soon accompanied by Jay.

"I thought you'd never get back. . Where'd you park - East Jabip?" She asked him quietly as they entered the room, as Nurse Patti placed Emily on the hospital bed from the wheelchair being careful not to wake her.

"There wasn't a lot of parking spaces. ." He shifted nervously, he hated hospitals, he always had. "I don't wanna leave you alone but. . I should really call my mom, tell her what's going on." _And call Emma and apologize._

"It's okay. . I can pick it up from here." she told him calmly, their decision was mutual.

"Call me and let me know what you're doing. . if you're going to stay here with her or if you want me to come pick you up okay?" He asked her

"Well tonight - I'd like to stay." she told Jay.

He nodded "I'll see you tomorrow then."

She waved, "Thank-you. Swing by tomorrow to pick me up. . okay?"

"Okay I will" He waved a little before walking out of the hospital room.


	4. Devils And Death

**Chapter Four; Devils And Deaths**

**Authors Notes; We didn't forget about our story, trust us.**

**Disclaimer; Like always kids, we own nothing except for out bodies which Bree is planning to sell to get money to go to Toronto and meet Mr. Mike Lobel 333**

Emma Nelson was mad, but it wasn't like she could tell anyone, she kind of had to play it off as if she never spoke to Jay Hogart and that he was nonexistent to her even if it was a complete and total lie. Sure she liked him, she was intrigued but she couldn't do a thing about it now, he stood her up as she sat at the bench for two hours, and it wasn't a topic she necessarily liked speaking of. She lingered in bed still tired from the night before when her phone rang from the basement which meant the call was obviously for her. She picked up at the phone, "Emma Nelson's line. . Emma here what's up?"

"Hey Emma. . It's Jay, don't hang up." Jay said the last part in a pleading voice. He felt bad about standing her up but there wasn't really anything he could do about it. It's not like he could just say 'Alex I have to go meet Emma. . hope your mom is okay.' he wasn't that much of an ass even though many people thought he was.

"Well start explaining what happened to you last night." She told him clearly agitated. She felt so awful that he just abruptly made the plans and never followed with them.

"It's a long story. ." He warned her, "Well after I got off the phone with you Alex came over. Something had happened to her mom and she was really upset. I didn't wanna just leave her to meet you even though I really wanted to. I'm sorry Emma, I didn't mean to just leave you hanging." He explained, leaving out parts about Emily and Alex being beaten up by Emily's so called boyfriend Chad. He figured it would be invading Alex's privacy to tell Emma what had really happened.

Emma softened up a little bit, Emma was aware that Alex's life wasn't so easy and maybe something with her mom had something to do with it, "I'm sorry about that. . "

"It's okay. . she's in the hospital, so she'll be alright." Jay sighed. "Do you still wanna hang out or do you hate me even more now?" He asked knowing that she must not hate him because she's actually talking to him.

"As long as you promise not to ditch the plans." she told him honestly with a sing song voice, "Then sure. Where?"

He smirked even though she couldn't see him, "It's up to you. And I promise I won't ditch you this time."

"Well if you know how to get to my house - which the answer is probably not um we could seriously meet at the park." She said forgetting about the times he drove her home. She wishes she would forget those times, they were a part of the past and that's how she wanted them to remain.

"I think I remember how to get to your house." He told her. "If I come in an hour will you be ready?" He asked. He remembered how to get to her house from the times in the past he'd driven her there but he didn't wanna bring that up and ruin the streak of good that was in their friendship. . if you could call it a friendship.

"If I run I will." she laughed.

"Want me to pick you up later then?" He asked

"No it's okay, I need the exercise."

"Okay. I'll see you in an hour"

- x -

Emma Nelson finds herself in a quick-get-ready-in-less-than-an-hour frenzy. She was brushing her hair while she was brushing her teeth applying make up as she was putting her shoes on and changing bags to match her blue polo. She hoped Manny didn't mind she totally took her bag, when she heard the doorbell ring throughout the house, she had almost forgotten it had rung in the basement six foot under ground or so. She then breathed in, "This is it, Em. Don't bring up how he didn't show up. . be nice and understanding towards Alex." she muttered to herself as she bolted up the stairs.

Emma took one last glance at herself in the mirror as she made her way to the front door _Why'd I wear this shirt? It makes me look fat. No it doesn't make me look fat. I_ am _fat. I know Jay knows it. . . I bet he just talks to me to make me feel better about myself._ She sighed and thought for a second about backing out, but without thinking she opened the door. "Hey" She smiled, happy to see him, and happy he didn't ditch her this time; most of all happy that she now forgot about her so-called fat.

The doorbell rang yet again, as she straightened her top that looked perfectly fine before she waltzed to the door took another breath and opened it to see Jay standing there, his car parked by the curb in sight, "Hi."

She grabbed her house keys off of the door side table and stepped outside, the breeze blowing her hair ever so slightly, she shut the door behind her and looked back up at Jay, "Let's go." She smirked.

He led her to his car, opening the door for her, "Here you go." as he went to the other side when she was inside, "Buckle up. ."

She playfully curtsied and slid into the car. "Buckle up?" She laughed "What am I? Four?" She fastened her seatbelt and relaxed into the chair. She looked straight ahead then focused her gaze on his hand which was on the stick shift.

"So you can't drive?" He asked once they were on the road, "Well my sisters four. . and even so I wont let the car move until the people are in their seatbelts."

"I can drive. . I just don't have my license yet." She frowned, "I keep failing the stupid test" She then laughed. "Well I have my seat belt on now. . so let's go. Where are we going anyway?" She asked

He started getting out of Emma's street and turned into the main road, near the park, "Your house really isn't far from the park."

"It isn't. It's cool because I can just walk there. . and get away from everything." She smiled. "It's nice to just get away, ya know?"

He nodded "I go for drives all the time, driving for me is relaxing. I end up going to the park anyhow.

"There's not much to do at the park for people our age though, unless you wanna ride the rocking duck or something. ." She looked at the passing trees "Or if you have someone to be there with."

"I walk the trail. . commit counts of noise pollution as I set on the hood of my car. . chill away from my house." Jay told her .

"You're music probably scares the little kids away." Emma giggled.

He snickered, "Funny. Actually it does."

She laughed a little harder "Those poor kids are just trying to play in the sand box and you have to scare them away." She playfully hit him on his arm.

He laughed too, he felt so free around her to laugh and talk about even not so serious things, "Well they know I need my space."

"Oh yeah you need the whole park." She joked

"Well, a whole park would be nice, eh?" He asked.

"It'd be a little lonely. . but nice." She smiled over at him.

"I like having that nice spot to myself, I could live in my car if my step dad wasn't such a charity case."

"Why would you want to sleep in THIS car? It's so small. And I'm sure. . you could stay other places. ."

"My mom sold out big time. . " he told her.

"Why? Is your dad some asshole who likes to pretend like he cares?"

"I live with my mom, my rich step dad and my little sister." Ignoring Darcy in his introduction to his family he felt relieved. If she knew Darcy was his stepsister who knows what it'd do their friendship, he thought to himself, "I don't know my parents split when I was young, my dad is the best he lives downtown - he really cares about me and my sis."

"Aw." She smiled "I'd love to meet you're dad. He seems like a great guy."

He nodded, he wanted to take her, he would've offered but he just figured he'd tell and not offer something in him screamed fear of rejection he wanted to play it safe with everything he says, "One of these days I'll have to take you, you'd probably be the only one who met him, aside from Sean when he was my friend. . I'm afraid if he ever returns he wont want to be friends with someone like me. "

"You aren't a bad guy Jay. You've just made some mistakes. People should learn to forive and forget. Forget Regret too because regrets give you wrinkles." She laughed a little, "But seriously, you're actually really nice once the person gets to know you."

He sighed, he so badly wanted to ask, _"What about what I did to you?"_ but he didn't want to bring the memories back, "I just feel. . I don't know. But thanks , Gre- Nelson."

As if almost reading his mind she answered, "It's like the ravine thing. . it's in the past; I don't have the STD anymore so why dwell on grudges like that?" She looked over at him. _Not to mention all the butterflies I get when I see you... I can't hold a grudge with you and fall for you at the same time. ._

"I can't hate people. I thought all this time, you had the grudge." He said in response, _"She's pulling me in, and I'm not objecting. It's something I'm not used to, usually I'm the person who pulls people in."_ he thought.

_I wonder what it would be like to kiss him. I've done it before, we could do it again. . but what if he doesn't feel the same way? What if. . _She thought. "I had a grudge. Had being the key word. I got over it." She shrugged "You're a likeable guy once people get to know you."

"I don't know if you ever heard of, guy makes fun of girl because it was the only way to know her?" He asked her slowly, it wasn't a lie. At the same time he was hoping Sean would split but then he chickened out of his master plan, "You're likeable too you had Chris, Sean, Peter. . in no particular order. . "

"Of course I know what you mean . ." She looked at him, then away. "You had Alex. Amy. Every other girl in that ravine." _You had me. . you still have me. ._

"Truth be told, Alex and I had been on the rocks for months after she got to be vice prez with Marco she was spending less and less time with me. Amy was with everyone else but me, I swear I saw her twice at the ravine but she was the only one with any disease. Most girls are drinkers, like I said about all the others - they didn't matter."

_They didn't matter_ Echoed over and over in her head. _Does that mean I didn't mean anything?_ Her smile faded "So. . out of all those girls you hooked up with? All of them meant nothing to you. . ?" She asked in the most nonchalant form of saying 'What about me?'

"Do you remember what I told you?" He asked her.

She shook her head "Jay, you've told me tons of things, how could I _possibly_ remember all of them?"

"I know, forget it." He looked away feeling embarrassed and unable to look at her. How come he remembers every word he tells her?

"No, say it." She told him "I want to remember what you told me. ." She looked at him with pleading eyes.

He sighed, "that night I was invited to be with Amy. . but I much rathered to be with you. I picked you out of any of them. "

"Because I had virtue or whatever. ." She repeated what he'd said to her the night of the play.

He was dumbfounded, he didn't say anything, but he looked at her, he wondered how she would remember some of the things she said, why she would because he does remember everything she tells him.

"I was mad at you for giving me an STD. I was mad because you used me to serial cheat on Alex. . but if I could go back in time, I wouldn't take back what I did. It was my choice to go down there, you didn't force me. I was tired of people walking on eggshells around me, and you didn't do that. I needed someone like you." She told him

"I didn't have to invite you, I thought a lot of things I could've done. But your one person I wanted to be around, I just didn't know how to express it." He told her with a truthful expression, still looking at her. He felt stupid, unforgivably stupid.

She didn't say anything. _He wanted to be around me? Oh My God._ She looked at him and finally spoke, "I wanted to be around you too. That's why I came."

He smirked slowly and lightly, biting his lip so he wouldn't say another stupid thing, but he couldn't hold himself back. As it was he was inches from her but he just increased the nearness of her.

Emma new where this was going and her heart skipped a beat at the thought. Her stomach was doing back flips at the same time. She leaned forward until her lips brushed his.

As this first kiss finally occurred Jay's cell phone which was a default ring sounded ruining the entire moment or potential moment. He slowly pulled away, he honestly didn't want one one of them would've pulled away anyhow either Emma would tell him to pick it up or he would get annoyed by the sound, he sighed digging in his pocket flipping it open. His phone was the brand-new Blackberry model, Emma couldn't help but piece his life together, "Hello?"

"Jay" Alex's voice came through the phone, she was crying. . hard. "Jay. I - I need you to come to - to the hospital." She cried into the phone "My - my mom d-d-died."

He couldn't move for a few seconds, he didn't speak he was sad. He knew Emily for years she practically was his other mother his god mother, he would go to her if anything happened he couldn't tell his mom about. Alex can't handle it, she's already getting it from Chad, "Lex. . "

"I don't want your pity Jay." She said in her normal Alex tone. "I just, I just want you to come pick me up okay?" She said, crying more. She never thought she would ever need Jay again, and now she needed him more than anyone.

"Alright, mind if I bring someone along? I'll be right there." He spoke before hanging up, he yanked Emma's hand and led her to his car, "Get in quick. ." he yelled nearly throwing Emma's passenger side door open and not long after his own. He literally backed out so quick Emma felt as if she was getting thrown, "Sorry I just. . I have to get there. . " He didn't want to talk, he felt if he said another word he'd cry and he didn't want to cry, he wanted to stay strong.

Jay's phone was loud, so Emma heard the whole conversation "Jay. Jay, slow down. Getting there faster isn't going to help any, and you could end up in a car accident and in the hospital yourself." With that, Jay slowed down some. "Jay I'm sorry. . it's a tragedy, I know you must of been close to her. ." She reached out and touched his arm. "I'm here for you. . if you ever need me."

"I-I. . " After Emma's yells to stop him from driving destructively, he found the quickest shoulder on the road bringing the car to a slow stop and put his head on the steering wheel. "I'm so . . I don't know. I could've been there Chad invited me over . . "

"You couldn't of stopped what happened from happening. . it would of happened no matter what. Don't blame yourself for something that ass Chad did. You're better then him because you don't hit your girlfriends." She said in a soothing tone, trying to calm him.

"I don't even have a girlfriend, I obviously don't know how to have one." He sighed a bit calmer since his brief park to get to the hospital, he was distraught, he thought taking Emily to the hospital would save her, but she was beyond repair, and now so is Alex. She probably is consumed with grief, she's probably there second guessing herself, telling herself what she could've, should've and would've done if she had a second chance.

"Jay you aren't a bad boyfriend. You just. . you just made some mistakes. That's all." She kept her hand on his arm "It'll be okay. I promise."

He made the turn into the hospital lot, he was tensed up and he wasn't sure what to say to Alex since she snapped at him on the phone when he attempted to send his condolences, he was sorry beyond sorry for it and he felt the worst for his friend, acquaintance someone who is now in his life and she doesn't seem to want him in her life, "You weren't ever my girlfriend, how would you know?"

"You were always good to Alex" She shrugged, "I just imagined you'd be a good boyfriend. ."

"Your Nelson right? You are the one who should know I wasn't the greatest boyfriend to Alex." He told her as he found a good parking spot near the front. He slowly unbuckled the seatbelt he had around him, he was a bit surprised he had even remembered to put it on in his quick drive.

"I mean before that. . And even after that you tried to make things work with her. You still loved her. You still love her to this day." She unbuckled her seatbelt which she was glad she put on, other wise she might of flown out of the window

"For some reason, she's more like a sister to me. . like a brotherly love. . I'm over it I had to move on. It probably was meant to happen. She likes girls remember?" He walked slowly in a way waiting for her to follow him.

"She likes girls, but that doesn't stop you from loving her - even if it is brotherly love. She needs you know more then ever Jay." She told him as she followed him.

"Every time I try to talk to her, she gets rude stiff and bitchy; when seconds before she was practically asking for help."

"She's upset, she doesn't know how to handle her emotions. She's used to not needing anybody and now that she does, she isn't sure how to show it."

"Miss Expert, your talking about a girl who beat you up for no known reasons. You did a number her nose."

"Well, her mother wasn't dead back then."

"Are your sure you're seventeen?" He asked as they stepped through the sliding automatic doors.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked him

"I don't know, you sound like you know everything." He replied as they turned the corner to Alex's mother's old room.

"Well I'm not one of those smart asses that know everything. . but I know some things." She continued to follow him, unsure if she should go in the room with him, she was sure she was one of the last people Alex would want to see right now.

The room was empty, except for Alex. Her sweatshirt clad arms were crossed and she was barely leaning on the just made bed with Alex's mother's body gone. She was gazing out the window, "I'm here."

Alex continued to stare out the window. "Why her? She didn't do anything wrong. She just got mixed up with the wrong people. Everyone loved her. . except for Chad. She didn't deserve to die Jay. It wasn't her time. ."

"I know. " He told her as Emma sadly watched as the girl she used to fear each day, and cringe at the thought of finding out her insides was looking torn apart. She was one who thought Alex had no heart, and Emma was usually a kindly person who thought there was good in anyone. Emma didn't plan on saying a word, she didn't want to speak to her she had never tried to since the rick anti-violence campaign, she practically flat out told her how she bandaged her mother up before, how she does it often. And for the second time in her life, Emma felt as if she could've done something about it.

Alex shook her head "No, you don't know. You don't know what it was to be here, talking to her one minute, then the next minute I was being pushed out of the room. You don't know what it's like to watch your mom fucking die through a window! I couldn't be there with her; I had to watch it happen through that window. I had to watch them carry out her lifeless body. And nobody did a damn thing to help me; they just pushed me aside like I wasn't important." Tears streamed down Alex's cheeks. No one ever imagined Alex to cry, but when she did, it was hysterical crying that wouldn't stop.

Jay was taken back, the only time she cried like that was when her moms first and longest boyfriend of thee years left, he practically raised Alex with her mom and when he left she felt as if she was without a father, he was the only father figure she believed. He'll never forget that night in the tree house as the rain kept falling and she kept crying and Jay never knew what it was like to loose someone forever.

"Let's just go." Alex walked away, running her hand along the bed as she walked away, the bed was the last place where her mother was and for some reason she didn't want to leave the bed, but she knew she'd have to. "Come on Jay."

Emma started down the hall when Alex saw her and looked at Jay who was walking next to Alex, "I was with her when you called." he whispered explaining Emma to her as they continued down the hall Alex frowned she didn't want Emma seeing that she was upset.

They walked silently to the car, Alex sat in the passenger seat, Emma in the back seat. The car ride was deadly silent. They drove to Jay's house, Jay didn't think about dropping Emma off at her house, he wanted her to be there for if Alex needed a girl to talk to. . and Jay didn't want to be alone with Alex.

"May I ask why you're with Jay today? A science experiment?" Alex asked Emma harshly sounding congested from tears.

"No." Emma shook her head "We were just talking. . we were at the park." She said explaining everything in as little words as possible.

"How much you wanna bet you were involved too. . ." She trailed off before turning around crossing her arms looking out the window of Jay's car, "Please take me home, to get my things." she added commanding Jay.

Jay shook his heads "Sorry Lex. I'm not taking you back there til I'm positive Chad is gone. We risked it last night, going in there while he was passed out on the couch, I'm not doing that again, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you."

"I'd rather be dead with my mom than be in a car with Greenpeace, Jay? You changed, she's like the devil, I can't even be near her. . I just feel like there's something I don't know and she looks capable of something." She then turned around and threw her a look, "I can see right through her. . I swear. I want you to enjoy the rest of your day with Greenpeace doing god knows what and leaving me out of her - and perhaps if Chad is there he'd be passed out still hung over out of his wits."

"I don't care what you want right now. It's about your safety. When we get to my house, I'll drop you off, and then I'll take Emma home, okay?" He looked over at Alex then in the rearview mirror, glancing at Emma. "Okay everyone?"

Emma wasn't happy but at the same time she couldn't really object to the plans. Jay needed to help Alex and Alex needs Jay, and Emma only wants Jay which is a big difference. Alex shook her head, "But all my stuff is at my house. . "

"I have some stuff at my house that you can use. . my mom's old stuff. And we can go get your stuff when its safe."

"But how would we know if it's safe if we're not there Jay. . how - who's to say I trust this whole arrangement. We have devil girl back here and - I. . I'm going to walk to my house, and then go from there." She starts to unbuckle her seatbelt and waits for the stoplight to turn red, before opening the door.

"Alex! Do not get out of this car." Jay said in a more fatherly tone then he expected and he shuddered at the thought of sounding like his step dad. "If you want to go there THAT bad then I'll take you, but if he's there we're going to go to my house."

"Fine." She slammed the door shut, defeated as the light turned green to go again.

Jay drove to Alex's old house. Emma stayed in the car when Alex and Jay got out to go in the house. "I hate that girl." Alex told Jay as they walked away from the car "Why are you talking to her? Why were you with her today?"

"Why does it matter who I talk to all of a sudden? You dumped my ass remember, and now you like girls. You of all people shouldn't have a problem. . she is a girl." Jay walked in front of her he saw a few broken windows from the cops being there the night before and a bunch of yellow tape around.

"Whatever Jason. Just let me go in here and get my stuff then you can go screw Cause Girl, because I know that's why you're talking to her. You just want her ass." Alex said pushing through the door that sticks when you try to open it, she looked around and got chills as memories from last night came back to haunt her.

"You know what, what if I told you - it's not like that. You're just so bitter you want to make everything like you." As they walked in and then he saw her freeze looking around the house, "What is it now?"

"Nothing. It's nothing that concerns you. You can stay here while I go get my stuff." She started walking towards her room, towards the notorious bed that her and Jay had spent many nights on.

He felt so funny being in the house, it was depressing and she had to live there day in and day out, "Okay." He told her as she was in the room. He remembered him and Chad used to enjoy beers on the couch and sit for hours in front of the TV.

Alex came out of her room about 10 minutes she had two duffle bags full of stuff "Let's get the hell out of here."

He started out the door and smiled at Emma in the back seat when he passed the car going in the drivers seat, "Alright your happy. . let's go. "

They drove off for a while, "So Cause Girl. ." Alex said "Is Jay good in bed? My memory of it is a little fuzzy."

Emma looked at Alex and shook her head, "I wouldn't know."

"Ha. Right." Alex laughed menacingly. Soon they were at Jay's house; Alex got out and took her stuff, going into the house. Emma got into the passenger seat.

Emma frowned but she was pleased to be rid of Alex, she looked at Jay as he watched to make sure Alex got in without a problem.

Jay reversed the car out of the drive way "It sucks that you have to go back home so soon. ."

"Yeah. . " She replied, "That's your house?"

"Yep, that's my house. ." He said, looking up at the two story house that wasn't too fancy but not too bad either.

"It's really nice, huge compared to my townhouse." She told him.

"It's okay, I guess. ."

"So I see Alex hasn't changed."

"She's still Alex, if that's what you mean."

She shrugged, "I guess. I mean if she hates me for being me, that's immature. She should be worrying about something else and not going out of her way to be rude."

"She doesn't go out of her way to be rude. . it comes naturally to her." He said focused on the road.

"Well. . she needs a better reason to hate me." She looked away.

"I don't think she hates you. . Maybe she's jealous." He looked at her then back at the road.

"Jealous? Maybe if she didn't have a sourpuss look on her face all the time she'd have more people interested in her, people would respect her more because she'd respect them in turn."

Jay laughed "I think you're right about that. ."

"Could you believe her? Devil?" She asked.

"It's like you said before, Emma, she's upset and she doesn't know how to handle her feelings." He said in a mock tone.

She couldn't believe he called her by her name, and direct quoted her right back, either to get even or a prove a point for earlier, "Well. . I guess."

They pulled up to Emma's house and Jay turned off his car, unbuckled his seat belt and got out. He went over to Emma's side and opened the door for her. "You're home." He told her.

"Thanks, the park was fun." She stepped on the pavement to her house, and she noticed he was following her to the porch. She turned around and faced him.

He took her hand and pulled her a little closer, "Yeah a lot of fun." He whispered, then leaned in for their first un-interrupted kiss.

She kissed him back, she imagined this, she hoped for this and it was more than picture perfect. They were still holding hands as they stood there for a few moments.

He pulled out of the kiss and stepped back, but still held her hand. "Bye Emma." He said as he let go of her hand and walked away, looking back at her before getting into his car.


	5. Unveiled Secrets

**Chapter Five; Unveiled Secrets**

**Authors Notes;** Sorry for lack of updates, school is a major killer. Never will we forget this fan fiction! We hope you enjoy this chapter, we will mark the beginning of the return of Tracker and other things and people come into play. Don't forget to review, we do take in what you give us, it also makes us feel quite warm and fuzzy inside. Thank you for reading the lovely authors notes we ALWAYS include.

future co writers of Degrassi,

xox Bri and Bree

**Disclaimer; **We do own Degrassi, and we love it oh yes we do. It so goes there and we are proud owners. (Did we mention we are compulsive and skilled liars?)

Early risings are the norm for Ellie Nash as she was getting ready for the day which was empty. Marco was too busy to hang out with her those days and Alex couldn't even be bothered with Ellie she didn't know anything about her any more, since Sean and Jay stopped hanging out their small shred of friendship evaporated slowly. Ellie enjoyed living alone but she knew she could see better days soon enough if she believed truly in happiness. Sure she was practically alone, Craig her best friend she would group with for two summers was gone and her friends all have college plans and more and we have Ellie who's sitting in her small apartment waiting for something interesting to occur. Ellie spotted her cleaned laundry pile and picked up her patchy black top she had for years, she removed her dark purple tank and started to put it over her head when she heard the creek of the front door swing open. There in the doorway she saw a tall early twenties male. He looked around the apartment and Ellie fidgeted with her shirt letting out a scream turning around so he wouldn't spot her, it was too late, "Who are you?"

Tracker Cameron, Sean's older brother, had moved to Alberta almost two years ago. He had an oil drilling job, but recently there was more oil then people and unfortunately Tracker was one of the twenty people who were let go from the job. He decided it would be a good time to go back to Degrassi and visit his little bro' Sean. When he got back he opened the door, expecting to see Sean on the couch watching TV, but instead he saw a beautiful red haired girl. She didn't have her shirt on, so to be respectful he quickly put his hand over his eyes "I'm Tracker. . who are you?" He answered her question. "And where's Sean?" Sure Sean was just like his older brother - great with the ladies. But there was no way in HELL Sean could score a girl like her. .

"Sean Cameron is a wimp who ran away to his mother and fathers home." Ellie continued not to face him, and spoke in a half annoyed certain voice.

"That doesn't tell me who you are. ." Tracker told her. "How do you know Sean? Did you go to school with him or something?"

"I was probably the reason he begged to stay." She told him in monotone, now her shirt was over her stomach and she was sitting hunched on the couch eyeing her chipped black nail polish, "Oh you could also open your eyes now, He and I did go to school together."

He uncovered his eyes, and stayed in the doorway "Wait, you dated Sean?" He asked with laughter in his eyes.

"Guilty as charged, I'm Ellie by the way." She told him, sheepishly giving him a look, "I dated him before I knew he was a wimp."

He laughed "Why'd he go back to mommy and daddy dearest anyway?"

"Do you read the newspaper, at all?" She asked.

"I was in Alberta. . I never really got time to read a newspaper. Why? What did Sean do this time? Rob a bank? I swear that Jay kid was bad news, probably talked him into it. ."

She sighed unsure how to put it, "Sit down, I have a long story to tell you, Tracker."

He sat down on the old couch, still the same couch as when he lived in this apartment. He got comfortable on one end of the couch, "Go ahead. ."

"There was this guy at Degrassi that wasn't liked because there was this girl named Terri and she got in the hospital because he hurt her. It hit Paige the hardest so she apparently went to Emma for anti-violence help since Emma is interested in speaking out. Of course they merge to do this antiviolence thing against Rick. Sean and I never really expressed interest in it but the day of this televised smarts TV show Rick Jimmy Toby and Emma were all contestants and that day Jimmy got shot, Emma almost got shot and Sean - Sean was protecting Toby and Emma. Sean then got under this impression he killed him. . after this interview with this lady and watching his parents we drove to Wasega Beach . . he managed to get in a jet ski accident and this guy. . he had problems with named Tyler rescued him. He then talked to his parents. . I guess and he wanted to stay. I remember he told me he'd never go back to them and when he did - it got me so mad."

Tracker stared at Ellie in disbelief "So you're telling me this kid came to Degrassi with a gun. Shot somebody, tried to shoot Emma and Sean protected her. Somehow - someway Sean got the idea that _he_ killed the kid and so he ran back to mommy and daddy dearest and stayed there?"

She nodded, "It's been awhile though. . "

"News doesn't travel very fast through the Cameron family" He told her with a slight smile.

"Oh really? Not everyone is in contact?"

"Nope, either someone is too dirt poor to afford a phone, or they're off getting drunk, or they - like in my case - are too busy."

"So what brings you to Degrassi?" Ellie asked, she wasn't sure if she asked him before about what exactly brought him here, was it to visit his brother or to simply just go back to Degrassi on a whim.

He leaned back on the couch, staring at a stain on the carpet that Sean made when he spilled some chocolate milk a couple years back. "I lost my job in Alberta, thanks to company downsizing. So I decided to come back to the old apartment, but I guess I can't do that now. . ."

"Nonsense. " She butted into him saying that he couldn't stay. Ellie had plenty of room in the apartment and she needed a friend with most of hers going their very own separate ways, "There's plenty of room." At the same time she felt not so sure about what just suppressed from her lips, but she just had invited a stranger to spend god knows how long in her house.

His eyes lit up a little "I can really stay?" He asked. "I'll help with the rent and buying groceries and all that stuff." He said hoping that would seal the deal.

"That's perfect." She told him, "I tried getting a job, they've yet to call me back."

Almost on cue the phone rang and Tracker motioned for Ellie to answer it.

"I applied for about four, it's been weeks." She told him as she inched her way to the phone, "Hello Nash residence."

"Hello is this Miss Ellie Nash?" A young woman said, "I'm Mr. Phillips' secretary, Miss Nash applied for a job here?" She said referring to a small newspaper company that had just opened a couple of months ago and was looking for some journalists.

"This is she." She smiled happily as Tracker looked on and couldn't help but catch on to her smile, so contagious.

"Hi Ellie. I'm just calling to let you know that we finally got a chance to read the article you submitted. We're so sorry for the long delay; we had so many articles to go through. Anyways, Mr. Phillips loved your article and he wants to know when you can start." The secretary said cheerfully.

She was nervous, her's among others had been selected she was the shining one. Perhaps this was the most she's smiled in months or past weeks. As she let out a nervous snicker and spoke, "As soon as possible?"

"How's Monday at 9 A.M.?" The secretary asked her, "You can come down and we can work out a schedule and everything else."

"Sounds great." She lodged the phone between her head and shoulder as she searched for a pen to scribble down the time and day.

"Okay, you know where we're located, have a great day!" The woman told her before hanging up the phone.

She put down the phone and regained composure slowly. Ellie had just been accepted, and from the looks of the job there were few young people, her resume complete with her co-op job really helped her gain the spot besides her essay which a secret between her and sending was quite imperfect and in turn they thought oh the contraire. Of course giddy and energized she gave Tracker a huge hug which came off as a shock for him. Prior to this meeting, he met her in speech Sean spoke about Ellie to Tracker. Tracker remembered Sean being so persistent about staying in Degrassi and now he understands what the reason just might've been, Ellie - The girl swaying close in his arms most currently.

-x-

Manny Santos and Darcy Edwards sandal clad toes touched the boiling smoldering sand causing them to quickly commute from the hot dry sand to dashing quickly to the relief of slightly cool water touched sands. Finally the girls set up shop, threw their stuff down and took a breath of fresh ocean air, Manny opened her chair placing her sunglasses on the top of her head, "We picked a fab weekend, Mother Theresa."

"I'm so not Mother Theresa." Darcy giggled as she relaxed on her towel facing the bright blue ocean. "And you're right, it's beautiful out here." She looked over at Manny who was gazing over at the snack shop. "Are you that hungry that you're going to stare at the snack shop?" She asked.

"Thirsty, it's so sunny." She whined shielding the sun from her eyes absentmindedly forgetting the glasses atop her head.

Darcy grabbed Manny's purse that was on the other side of her, "Here, go get us some drinks." She smiled

She laughed, "Diet anything sound good?"

"Please! Now go." She giggled a little more

Manny put her sunglasses on her face making her vision less shined and gave everything a natural layout. She saw a silent guy about her age working the stand, he had short brown hair, a nice body to Manny's standards and some charm about him that kept her staring, she twiddled her thumb and waited for service, noticing suddenly that he didn't even know she was there, "Hey boy. . " she spoke and still no response as he paced around waiting for service he doesn't know he has, Manny slightly agitated yelled slightly, "Hello. . " adding a wave to seek attention.

Tyler was bored out of his mind, as he waited for some costumers to show up he paced back and forth. He suddenly noticed a young tan girl about his age. He looked her up and down- damn she was hot! He smiled "How can I help ya?" He asked, slightly turned so she didn't notice the hearing aid in his right ear.

"Finally." She muttered before ordering, "Two diet raspberry ice tea Snapple's, please." Manny noticed his turned face, "What is this your 'good side'?"

"Yeah this is my good side." He said cockily. He posed like a model where he had his hand on his chin and he looked very focused. He turned around and grabbed the girl's drinks, "I'm Tyler by the way. And that will be $3.50"

She gave him a five, "Manny."

He got her the change. "Hey there's a party tonight at my friends beach house, you should come."

: "Well, I do have a friend I'm staying with, she's a total Jesus fanatic and she's not big on drinking and the casual but I don't know, unless of course you find her friends that could welcome her in I suppose you might just see me. Manny missing a party is a never." Manny smirked as she explained her problem to Tyler thinking lightly and manipulating the whole thing like dough.

"I have a couple friends just like her and they'll be at the party, so you better be there." He grabbed a paper and wrote down the address; 6175 Beach Dr. He then handed her the paper "It's a huge white house, you can't miss it."

"Thanks" she looked down and read the name 'Tyler' and said it out loud, "Tyler. I heard your name before, Tyler Bishop?"

Tyler raised his eyebrows "Yeah? What have you heard?"

"I don't remember, I just heard your name before."

He looked at her "Do you go to Degrassi CS?"

She nodded, "Yep. Unfortunately. . Why? Don't tell me you heard things about me."

"Well...there was this video, but that's beside the point. So you know Sean Cameron then right?"

"My best friend Emma used to date him a long time ago. Yep. . well did. . he moved here apparently." She told him relaxingly putting her elbow to rest on the counter after noticing no new customers.

"That's probably where you heard my name. ." He turned showing her the hearing aid in his ear. "Sean and I got in a fight a while back."

Her mouth opened astonished, "Sean never struck me personally as violent. Sean and I barely spoke, Emma told me something about running into you with Sean, Ellie and Jay at the beach. A few days after the infamous school shooting of Degrassi, they all packed into a car and came here for the day ditching school and therapy sessions to come and maybe spend the day away. I don't know many of the details, knowing me I probably wasn't paying much attention but your name sounds familiar to that."

"That guy Jay is a dumbass, but you can tell he really liked the blonde girl, they were close the whole time."

"Who Jay Hogart? Of course he's a dumbass." She told Tyler matter of factly, "He is the ring leader in last years Degrassi STD outbreak."

Someone walked up to the counter "Well Manny, I'll be seeing you later." He winked at her and walked over to the customer.

She waved goodbye and took her Snapples and the address to the party with her and returned to where they sat, suddenly the hot sand upon Manny's bare feet no longer bothered her, pestered Darcy asked, "What in hell took you so long?"

"Sorry, I was talking to Tyler." Manny said with a dreamy daze on her face as she tossed a Snapple down to her. "We're going to a party tonight." She announced as she plopped down on her towel.

Darcy puzzled, gazed up at Manny her eyes squinting from the sun, "Manny! I-It's. . you just met this guy less than five minutes ago."

"Yeah, well, he knows Sean Cameron!" She told her, positive she wouldn't know who he was.

"Sean Cameron. . . he used to come by my house all the time." Darcy said a tad too loud causing Manny to raise her eyebrow. Sean, yes Sean was Jay's friend, best friend and he'd come by most weekends as Darcy would conceal herself in her bedroom or Jay and Sean would hold themselves up in his room so they wouldn't see a sign or sight of Darcy.

Manny made a perfect o-face. "Darcy! Details please!"

Darcy suddenly realized her slip and covered her mouth protectively. Darcy contemplated with the devil and angel on her shoulders telling her silently what to say, one part said she could lie and say Sean and her had some secret affair, or she could opt for the truth the dirty disgusting truth that Jay Hogart is her stepbrother. Finally, Darcy goes for it the truth hoping Manny isn't secretly challenged she begins, "Okay you can't tell anybody. . Jay Hogart's car was in my driveway for a good reason, the little girl's picture in the glove box. . and even Sean stopping by my house, keep this in mind. I hate lying, it's against my religion, I feel dirty when I lie but - my stepbrother is a dirty person I'm embarrassed to be related to Manny, please understand that. The girl. . is my step sister, Jay's younger sister and well. . Sean and Jay would hang out."

Manny's jaw dropped, "Whoa."

"Whoa . . is that all you can say?!" Darcy asked astonished. She stood up opening her Snapple, looking down, calming herself as she shook her head, "He's a horrible person. . and it sucks I have to be related to him and . . it's a day in the life of Darcy Edwards. You're lucky things aren't so complicated with your life. I'm sure Jay will be at his one millionth ravine party and we're being just like him by going to Tommy's party. . Tommy right?"

"It's Tyler. . It's okay I forgive you. "Manny took inside what Darcy told her and it fell right out her ear as it came out, "We'd really need to talk if you and Jay Hogart, as gross as it sounds had some type of affair." Manny had a sickish face as she told her. As much as Jay annoyed her, he didn't phase her. On the other hand, the one person Manny believed would have Jay phasing her in a negative way is Emma her best friend, little does Manny know what is going on right under her very own nose.


	6. Dating For Dummies

**Chapter Six; Dating For Dummies**

**Authors Notes;** If you were wondering if this story was forgotten you are wrong, dead wrong. We've been pretty busy with the norm school, life, friends, even the holidays but we assure you it's not dying and we're not poking the dead story with a stupid stick. Before we give anything away, we hope you like this chapter.

xox Bri and Bree

**Disclaimer;** We do not own Degrassi or it's assets including both Emma and Jay and the book Dating For Dummies - in fact we're not sure if there is a book in the 'For Dummies' series for dating but it does have a nice ring to it.

Jay Hogart drove himself home, barely eyeing the road everything he saw reminded him of Emma for reasons unknown, Emmit's corner store in which he'd constantly stop and buy ice smoothies, the sign renowned in the neighborhood morphed into her name. Finally he turned in to the area with the gate, a constant chore each day, as it opened he parked his car on the long driveway. His young sister Chrissy bare-footed ran to him as he exited his car shutting it from behind, "Hey Chrissy!"

"Jay Jay!" Little Chrissy ran towards him, her blonde hair was sparkling and blowing in the wind, blue eyes shining with happiness. "Where were youu?" She pouted, "I missed you!"

"I went out today. Don't worry because I miss you too." Jay beamed happily to see his little sister running eagerly in her direction, he scooped her up and brought her in the direction of the house, "Today is the day just you and me will hang out. "

She smiled a big toothy grin, front two teeth missing of course. "Yay!" She clapped happily.

"We can make some cookie dough if you'd like." He told her shutting the door with his foot with his hands already full from his squirmy sister.

She gasped and the second he set her down on the floor she bolted for the giant kitchen. When Jay entered the kitchen he saw his sister staring up at the fridge "Need some help kid?" He asked her.

She nodded already at her tip toes jumping to receive items for making the cookie dough beyond her reach, "Uh-huh, Jayson."

"They should really make Six-year-old size refrigerators." He told her, picking her up again so she could grab the correct items.

"Just like my kitchen set, Darcy got me." She told him with her hands full, "All done."

Jay sat her down on the counter "Okay, ready?"

"Uh-huh"

He grabbed the flour and measured the correct amount, to make it even he wiped off a little with his finger, when he did so he wiped it on Chrissy's face "Ha! You got some flour on your face!"

"Hey hey. . well at least I don't have cooties." She giggled, getting on him about a semi sensitive subject she noticed on her brother. Chrissy wasn't a fool, she knew where to get her brother - through the heart. "So did you see that girl at the park who you loveee?"

"Yes I did - but I don't loooveeee her." He stuck out his tongue; being with Chrissy always brought out the kid in him.

"What did you guys do?" She asked him. She loved being with her big brother, who now has been home more than ever, when he isn't home it seems like it's for a good reason, she looked up to him he was a high authority figure.

"We just talked." He told her, smiling cheesily at the thought of that moment on her porch.

"Yay." She smiled as she opened up the bag of chocolate chips.

They continued to make the cookie dough, occasionally sampling the rich, sugary dough. "I'm sorry I've never been around Chrissy." He told her after spacing out, deep in though.

"It's okay, like Mommy told me about people - you're growing up, and I doubt you'd wanna hang out with a little kid like me all the time." She told him sampling pieces mimicking her brother.

He smiled at her "How about we get cleaned up and we'll go get some ice cream?"

"But what about our cookie dough?" She asked.

"We'll put it in the fridge and Alex or Mommy can make it later okay?"

She nodded hopping down from the counter excitedly and throwing on her pink jacket, "Let's go!"

"Wait wait wait come back here." He told her and she ran back to him "I gotta get the flour off of you." He laughed

"You know, Jay you should invite that girl you like." She told him as Jay brushed the flour off Chrissy's face.

"Gree - Emma?" He asked, almost calling her by her old nickname Greenpeace.

She nodded enthusiastically, "I'll behave, I promise. I'll put my seatbelt on as soon as I get in the car. . and I'll be quiet and not look or get in your conversations unless I'm asked of course. . and. . "

"Okay, Okay, calm down." Jay laughed. He pulled out his cell phone and searched the virtual phonebook for her number he pressed the send button and waited for her to answer.

Emma was looking in the mirror at her house, she was pretty happy, she felt alright and what's best of all for the past three days she hadn't truly thought about her weight in a negative aspect suddenly her cell phone started ringing, she without looking to see who called and wished and hoped it wasn't Peter full of ill-will against her, "Hey?"

"Hey Emma it's Jay." He said with a smirk that you could almost hear in his voice.

"Hey Jay, what's up?" She asked him beaming to herself.

"My sister and I were about to go get some ice cream and I - she wanted you to come. You up for it?" He asked.

Emma laughed lightly, "Sure, it's really boring here at home so why not? Pick me up?"

"We'll be there in five." He told her with a huge smile. It made him happy to hear her happy, especially after all that she had been through.

"Thanks so much for inviting me. Cya soon." She then hung up to quickly brush her hair and put on shoes before he picked her up. Before long she heard a knock at the door.

"Chrissy slow down! She's not going anywhere!" He yelled as Chrissy sped towards Emma's front door. Chrissy knocked on the door and waited patiently for Emma to open the door.

Emma looked straight ahead and saw Jay's car and Jay waiting outside it watching his sister at the front door before she went to look down at Chrissy whose big blue eyes gazed up at her like a precious moments doll, "Hi!"

"Hi Emma!" Chrissy said smiling widely "Let's go!"

Emma adjusted her strap on her purse and followed young Chrissy down to Jay's orange car, a car she's seen more and more frequently. She gave him a light smile before sitting on the passenger side of the front seat and Jay slowly sat in the front seat, "Chrissy - buckle."

"Yes Jay, let's go, let's go, LETS GO!" She said excitedly, already hyper from the cookie dough.

He started down the street and turned into Degrassi Street, they drove for a bit, from the corner of his eye, Emma would look at him, and between quick red lights Jay eyed Emma. From the back seat, a silent Chrissy attentively watched them. Finally, they arrived and Jay parked, "We're here."

Emma hopped out of the car and helped Chrissy out. Chrissy and Emma held hands as they walked up to the small parlor

"Jay I want chocolate chip cookie dough." Chrissy exclaimed excitedly.

"Chrissy you've been eating cookie dough all day!" Jay laughed slightly

"But Jaaay!" She emphasized Jay as she jumped as Emma walked her, "I'll be your bestest friend!"

"You're already my little sister isn't that good enough?"

Emma looked behind her and eyed Jay, as they walked up to the counter. She never really saw Jay as a caring older brother. She never really saw Jay as a caring person in general before until this year, after all the ridicule he gave her since the day he met her she never thought she'd be standing here right now, meeting his sister that she never believed he could ever have.

"No. It's not." Chrissy shook her head, curly golden locks swishing here and there. At first glance she looked like a twin of Shirley Temple, but if you looked closer you could see the difference. Chrissy looked like a girl version of Jay. . in a cute way.

"Well I could always drop you home, Chrissy. . ."

"Noooooo!" She whined a little. "That's not fair." She pouted, crossing her arms.

Jay sighed putting his finger up by his lips telling her to be quiet. It was clear he was glowing bright red in the cheeks by Chrissy's behavior around Emma, "Chris." he hissed.

"Jayson." She replied in the same tone. It was so obvious that they were brother and sister, they had the same mannerisms.

"Excuse me, anything else I can get you all?" The girl came with the ice creams as Emma just watched the two.

"No, I think we're fine." Emma took the two ice creams, her's and Jay's. She handed Chrissy her's and Jay his. "Here Chrissy you can have mine." Emma glared at Jay from her position where she was eye to eye with Chrissy.

"Really Em?" She asked completely forgetting about the whole thing with Jay taking it in her other hand before turning around with a big smile on her face, "She really is nice. . and a keeper!"

Emma smiled, "Really." She then blushed when she heard what else Chrissy said.

She nodded enthused before adding, "You should see the way he pines for you. . I literally had to drag him to the park to talk to you."

Emma's eyes widened as Jay turned around, obviously embarrassed. "Chrissy, stop, you're embarrassing your brother." She smirked a little.

"Oh but it's so fun. . " Chrissy giggled as began walking as she found the three of them a booth somewhere. "He's so I don't know what's the word. . at the same time it's so cute. He's actually nice now. . "

Jay sat down next to Chrissy, speechless. Emma sat down across from the two, trying to change the subject she said, "Is that ice cream good, Chrissy?"

Chrissy nodded and looked at Emma, "Are you sure you don't want yours?"

"It's okay, I'm not really that hungry." She smiled. She shivered a little, "Is it just me or is it getting kinda cold?"

Chrissy smirked grabbing Jay's jacket, tossing it to Emma aggravated that Jay didn't do it first. After all Jay was still speechless at his 'all knowing' sister, and the way she practically let him be an open book to Emma, "Do I have to do everything for you? You should've read_ Dating for Dummies."_

Jay shook his head out of his trance. "How did she get my jacket. .?"

"Uh where were you five seconds ago?" Chrissy asked.

He shrugged, and ate some of his ice cream.

Emma just watched Jay when Chrissy finished her ice cream and then sighed, rubbing her brain frozen temples, "I gotta use the washroom, and I'll be back you two love birds. Don't do nothing crazy while I'm gone. . " Chrissy flew right out of the booth and waltzed to the nearby washroom.

Emma continued to watch Jay as he ate his ice cream, after a few moments of unbearable silence Emma sighed, "So. ."

"So. . you having a good time?" Jay asked attempting to not embarrass himself at the same time as hoping that Emma would forget the things Chrissy told her, "I'm glad she left me alone. . this is so nerve racking. ." he said quickly before realizing he had said so much, "did I say that out loud?"

Emma giggled, "Yeah, you did just say that out loud. And I am having a good time; despite the fact your sister is telling me your whole life story." She looked down, "Do you want your jacket back? Your sister gave it to me without asking. ."

"Which is lies. . all lies don't believe her. No you can have it, it's probably cold."

Emma's face fell, "Oh, I didn't know she was lying. ." She even surprised herself with how sad she sounded.

"Little kid likes to use her overactive imagination." Jay explained, before seeing Emma's expression, "Something wrong?"

"No, nothings wrong." Emma forced on a smile.

"So now you know everything right?"

"What do you mean by everything?"

"She didn't lie; she knows it I just got to give the girl more credit."

"Oh, _that_ everything." She nodded, "Yeah, I know."

"So stop frowning it gives you wrinkles."

She couldn't help but smile.

He turned to her, just looking at her light smile of relief, "How long does the youngin' spend in the washroom? Last time I checked, Em you are a girl. . what do girls do in there?"

"Well. . we fix our hair, our makeup." She shrugged, "But she's five, they don't wear makeup, thank god. And I'm glad you know I'm a girl."

"She better not be wearing make up. . "

"I didn't start wearing makeup til seventh grade, stop worrying."

"Seventh grade? You were a sheltered child."

"I didn't need it til then." She stuck out her tongue.

"I don't think you need it."

She rolled her eyes "Yeah, I do."

"You need to have a little bit more faith in yourself."

Emma looked down, "Jay, don't start that."

He paused, defeated going back to his ice cream as Chrissy hoisted herself next to Emma again. "Hey, Jay can I have a few quarters to play a game?"

Jay nodded, pulling three dollars out of his wallet, "You can get the change. Have fun." He smiled.

She smiled, as she left in a quick dash, "Thanks Jay-Jay you're the bestest!"

Emma laughed and agreed with her, "The bestest."

Jay lifted his head, and let out a small laugh, "Really huh?"

She nodded "Yup."

"Thanks, I guess."

She laughed, "By the way, Jay. I like you too."


End file.
